Naija boy in Jozi....

The American oppressors

2011-06-16T07:01:00.000-07:00

As much as possible, I have tried to avoid commenting on the happenings in Libya. This is probably because I might come across as being in support of the suppression of the opinions of many Libyans who want Brother Leader Ghadaffi out of office. We are talking about a man who has been in office for over forty years and is believed to be grooming his children to take over from him. I believe that all men were created equal, so no man should be allowed to make another subservient to him but the harsh reality is that history has showed us otherwise. The top one percent of the rich people in America control about 70% of the resources of the country while we have so many impoverished people in the third world countries struggling to survive. The queen of England has been there for over fifty years, same with the Sultan of Brunei and many of the Arab kings. The west sees nothing wrong with these people as long as they are their allies. Mobutu Seseko was regarded by the west as the Congolese leader when he was an ally but became a dictator when they had no more business transactions to do with him. That’s the principle I love to call “the use and dump” principle.

America never ceases to amaze me. It has always been their practice to always masquerade their true intentions with some humanitarian agenda. I know very little about American history, but one thing sticks out, every war or humanitarian intervention that America has been involved in has always been for some American interest. I don’t know how America has succeeded in convincing everyone that the reason they are bombing away Libya is because of the rebels, when their real intent is the Libyan oil. I wonder if America will treat a group of Americans who go up in arms shooting police and soldiers with kid gloves. I do not support violence but I also believe that such behavior would lead to anarchy. One would have expected that the UN or the west would have intervened by mediating peace rather than sending military aircraft and personnel to attack Libya. Where was America in Rwanda when almost one million people were slaughtered like animals? Where was America in Zimbabwe? Where was America in Togo when a child born in the presidential palace declared himself president after his father’s death? They were nowhere to be found simply because these countries don’t have oil or natural resources. One thing I despise in life is double standard. How come America and its cohorts of colonialist are not blowing Yemen and Syria where every day the governments are daily killing their people? I guess it’s because they have nothing to gain from these countries. Let me underscore one fact here, I am not and would not support a government killing the very people it was meant to protect but would also not support any group that makes peaceful cohabitation impossible.

I believe that the aerial invasion of Libya under the disguise of maintaining a no fly zone is an infringement of the sovereignty of the country, which shouldn’t have been the first choice of action. When did maintaining no fly zone involve hitting targets that were not flying or used for projecting aerial attacks. The involvement of the American led coalition in Libya has only succeeded in escalating the violence and unrest in the country. I believe that the reason why the rebels are not even willing to consider the peaceful resolution proposed by the African Union is because they have the backing of the Americans and their allied murderers. I wonder how many lives need to be wasted for this conflict to be resolved. The American style resolution is obviously one that comes at the loss of lives and destruction of the country. Iraq is still there for us to see, with American companies benefiting from juicy reconstruction contracts.

The press hasn’t helped matters either. One would have thought that there would have been a balanced reporting of the situation in Libya. All I hear every day is opposition this, opposition that. The way the war in Libya is reported, you would love to be a rebel as everything they do is considered right. They are killing people, that can’t be right! I think as far as the CNNs, BBCs and Aljazeeras are concerned; the happenings in Libya constitute good contents for their stations. As Africans, we would be the ones to live with the stigma and scars of one more war that could have been averted. I’ve got a premonition that there is a second colonization of Africa in the offing and this colonization unlike the first is going to be about our natural resources. We are going to see more incursions into Africa under the disguise of conflict resolution. It is a known fact that ours is the richest continent in terms of natural resources yet the most impoverished. There is an urgent need for African leaders to get their acts right and prevent these hawks from descending on our continent. Otherwise why would America want to build a military base in Africa?

Mr. Obama, it’s amazing how easy it is to criticize people when you are not in power. Who would have thought that when Obama was shouting “Yes we can”, he actually meant “Yes we can wage more war than George Bush”. This has just gone to show that even though we are in the 21st century, it’s still a big fish eat small fish world that we live in; a world where America has nuclear weapon but any other country that has similar aspiration is considered a terrorist nation. Most likely Ghadaffi would be over powered but the question on my mind is, “who’s going to be next?” Goodluck Jonathan? This is a wakeup call for African leaders. This is the time for good governance, equity and proactive leadership to avert any political unrest that would give these goons a reason to invade our continent. A word they say is enough for the wise.

Together, we can achieve more. Cheers

Cal me a lover boy - I don't mind

2010-07-23T00:34:00.001-07:00

Hey good people. It’s been a while. Life throws many challenges our paths; it’s our responsibilities to overcome them. There are also times though when God puts us in holds and all we can do is wait on Him. It can be very tough, lonely and not naturally desirable but there is no better place to be. I am getting used to it. I am sure that some of the experiences of today would make for a good read sometimes in the future. I was chatting with a friend on Facebook and she was telling me about her problems with men. I gave her some advice on how women accept to be in relationships with the wrong types of men sometimes because they do not know how to tell if the guy is right for them or not. She then asked me a question I wasn’t expecting. She asked me “So what type of man is Temitope Adewunmi?” Well surprised and off guard as I was, I responded thus.

I am proud to say that I am the loving type who loves to nurture and dot over my woman. I am the type of man who believes that when you say you love someone, it has to show in your attitude, behavior and choices. It’s a summation of what we do and not a feeling. To love is to do. The feeling love is a transient love; here today, gone tomorrow. I also know that when we love, we are prone to hurt but I'll rather try and get hurt than not try at all. It’s almost like wanting to eat your cake and still have it. We only get hurt by those we love after all. You can call me a lover boy; I don't mind I am just being like my father. How often we break His heart yet His love for us is never ending.

I am that type of guy who would wake up in the morning just to look at my woman while she is still sleeping and thank God for the gift He has given me. I am full of passion yet very connected to the spirit of God. Even though I know that I have been commanded to be the head of the family, my woman need not be afraid or get scared of being misled or enslaved as I am also being led; by the Holy Spirit. I am a warrior, king, priest, prophet, provider, lover and a friend. As a warrior, daily I would put my life on the line to protect my home even to death. As a king I use the power of my word to build my home because where the word of a king is, there is power. As a priest intercede on behalf of my home before God while as a prophet I act as heaven’s radio station in my home; speaking as God’s oracle. As a provider I make sure that my woman and my household lacks nothing. The lover in me is always ready to forgive, striving as much as possible to write the errors of my woman on water while writing her good deeds on brass. I am a friend to my woman and children, creating an environment where they know they can always share their innermost desires, burden and worries with me.

I am a new generation man, called to be like God, loving my woman even unto death and correcting my children in love. I do not enslave, shackle or belittle the gift of God in my woman and my children. I intend to help them discover who they are and teach them how to unlock the greatness that God has deposited in them. As the visionary head of my home I provide direction for my house hold by waiting on God for guidance.

I am not afraid to show my woman that I am human and all flesh, so when I feel like crying I would cling unto my woman for comfort and cry. Tears they say clears the window of the heart. Yes even the warrior is allowed to remove his armor of protection around his woman. I am a man who knows that even superman is not always super. Before there was the warrior, there was a boy. When the boy in me yearns for expression, I allow the wisdom of the sage to prevail; never too old to learn yet letting go of childhood stupidity.

As a provider, I provide much more than finances. Finance is good and very important but even when I don't have that for a season, I still remain the provider. I know that my provisional mandate is beyond money. I provide counsel, warmth, friendship, companionship, direction and of course great sex that she deserve.

I know I come across as intimidating, full of myself and unrealistic sometimes. But who am I to have a contrary opinion to God’s. It’s only the manufacturer of a thing that determines its use and not the thing that was manufactured. I am just like clay in the hands of my creator. I am who He has called me, so I have no apologies for knowing myself and my inheritance in Him. It’s not my fault I was made this way. So that’s me, the new generation man, the real man. Temitope Abayomi Adewunmi. To all the real men out there, who are often overlooked and not celebrated, we honour you. May God continue to strengthen you. Cheers.

Together, we can achieve more. Cheers

GUS 3 Winning moments

2010-05-24T06:21:00.000-07:00

Together, we can achieve more. Cheers

South Africa welcomes you - its our world cup

2010-05-20T04:54:00.000-07:00

The world cup is here. Everywhere you look you find flags of the participating nations hanging from buildings and in the malls. Many cars now fly their South African flags very proudly. The South African jersey is fast becoming the national uniform. I think people who don’t know what to wear to work can be pardoned for rocking up at work in their Bafana Bafana jerseys; in the spirit of the world cup. I am sure that even the sight impaired can feel the charged atmosphere. Regardless of the Transnet industrial action the sense of national pride is quite rife. I guess that’s one thing football does to people; a sense of pride and unity in diversity.

I cannot wait to see the looks on the faces of the skeptic English who believed that the whole of Africa is probably one country. I don’t blame them. Questions eliminate ignorance. The English have questioned our preparedness for the world and our answer is about to eliminate their ignorance. Especially when they see that the Wembly Stadium they celebrate so much has been duplicated in several copies in Mzansi (I dare even say superseded in beauty). Some of these new stadiums can compare with the best stadiums anywhere in the world. Sorry if I am sounding biased but I guess if you do not celebrate your own, then who will? After months of construction, South African engineers and workers have delivered to us world class stadiums that we can be proud of. They have showed their creativity and ingenuity by giving us designs that are not only original but also epitomizes the architectural innovation on display in South Africa.

The 70,000-seater Moses Mabhida Stadium in Durban has been specifically designed as a multi-purpose venue and an amphitheatre complete with a cable car which ascends to a viewing platform at the top of the expansive 350m arch, a staggering 106m above the pitch. From this vantage point, visitors can experience spectacular panoramic views of the nearby shoreline and the city. It takes its design inspiration from the South African flag, with its grand arch representing the new unity of this once –divided but sport-loving nation.

The Green Point Stadium is one of the most artistic soccer venues in the country and is situated in one of the much sought-after areas in the city of Cape Town. Fans will be a stone's throw from the ocean and the Table Mountain will also provide the backdrop for matches. The stadium, which has an exterior that is covered with noise-reducing cladding, has a capacity of 68,000. The design of the Soccer City in Johannesburg is inspired by the iconic African pot known as the calabash. It has an encircling roof and its aesthetic appeal will be heightened when the stadium is lit at night. It is only a short distance from one of the country's football-crazy townships, Soweto. It has a capacity of 94,700 and has 184 suites.

The infrastructural gains of the world cup are numerous. Roads have been expanded, Gautrain built (even though it wasn’t part of the world cup plans), bus transportation has been improved on, airports renovated and cities have been beautified in anticipation of the soccer mundial. At some point in time, the whole of Gauteng looked like one big construction site with incessant traffic jams. The only consolation during this period creative madness was the fact that you could practically see transformation in progress. I once almost got lost because I was not familiar with a new on-ramp from Malibongwe Drive joining the N1. I used the same road the previous day and was surprised that the on-ramp had been changed to the new lane on the far left instead of the first on my right. But it is a beautiful and welcome development. The story is the same all over the country. Being an engineer, I can tell from observing the construction processes that many of these infrastructural projects would last many years.

Unlike many construction projects in Nigeria that are built to expire in months. If a contractor can build a road that needs reconstruction only in 6 months time, he really has no business in construction. South Africa has just showed the rest of us; Africans that where there is a will there are ways. Have you seen the airports? South Africa built the new King Shaka International airport at La mercy in Durban in less than 33 months. It was a Greenfield project; I was there when there was nothing but a plain land. It’s almost like magic to me because of my Naija background. I remember that the local airport in Lagos got burnt in 2000 while I was still at Nigeria Airways. I believe we only finished construction last year or there about. Our Muritala Muhammed International airport has nothing international about it. I would like to suggest that IATA should strip such airports of such names as it is misleading. Even when the reconstruction was going on at OR Tambo International, you cannot compare it with our dirty water-logged MMI. As we say in Yoruba, “it’s almost like comparing sleep with death-impossible”. It would be criminal to even attempt to do that. Yet we want to keep deluding ourselves that we are the giant of Africa. We wish…

I get angry when people tell me about the many beautiful things that Fashola has done in Lagos. How can anyone call making Oshodi sane an achievement to celebrate forever. It was an aberration the way it was and we are only just moving back to what is normal for sane people. It is good to beautify the roads with flowers but we need to move beyond mere window dressing. That is not to rubbish the efforts of the dedicated governor who I think has the right mind set of a good leader. But the followership needs to wake up and move beyond celebrating what really is their entitlement. Good governance requires a knowledgeable followership that engages the leadership instead of being complacent. The power sector needs to be overhauled, education needs urgent attention, enabling environment for jobs to be created should be put in place, corruption needs to be checked while political godfatherism and sect violence should be eschewed from our society. Lets not forget the backlog of infrastructural development and equity in the sharing of the “national cake”.

That notwithstanding I would still be behind my team – Super Eagles. I am not expecting anything extraordinary from them but I sure would be positively shocked if they do well. As they say, “when you fail to prepare then you automatically are preparing to fail”. My dilemma now is that I do not know where I would watch the world cup. My initially plan was to watch it at home and then go to any of the fan villages when a big match is on. But to my surprise and shock, my TV packed up last week. Can FIFA please give me a TV? At least they have made billions from the poor masses around the world. So if you are my friend and you see me at your door with my camping gears & back pack…please don’t make me pay before I come in. People, it’s an African world cup; we look forward to welcoming you to the rainbow nation. Ke nako (It’s our time). See you there.

Together, we can achieve more. Cheers

Lets talk about dwindling faith - in tough times

2010-05-03T17:26:00.001-07:00

Good day beautiful people. It’s been a while since I last blogged. It wasn’t intentional; rather I have been a victim of unsolicited emotional transformation. I was bitten by the love bug. LOL. And you know what the bible says about the human heart, “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks”. So I knew that attempting to write anything then would have been tantamount to writing love poetry. It’s a good space to be though. I thank God for the gift of a beautiful, kind hearted and godly woman.

The first three months of the year has been challenging for me, considering the fact that I am still trying to secure a new job. It’s been trying times and I have learnt a lot about friendship. You only know who your true friends are when you go through periods of hardships and trials. I have come to learn that apart from some few good friends in our lives, majority of the people we call friends are just there for what they can get from you. But beyond this, I have also come to reaffirm that God is our sufficiency. One shocking thing that I discovered was that it’s easier to find non Christian friends who are helpful than to find helpful friends in the church. God would help us all to live as Christ did – isn’t that why we are called Christians.

Anyway, instead of being carried away by the things I am going through, I decided to reach out to some of my friends that I haven’t been in touch with for a while. And I found out that many people have issues they are also dealing with. We all seem to have this cool demeanor but behind the façade is a need or challenge that keeps us up late at night. We have that thing that makes us question the authenticity of God’s word and promises. I actually had a few of my friends who said they think they might be losing faith in God. These are believers. Many times we look around us and we find people who are not godly or who out rightly are criminals and they seem to be the only ones living the good life. Let’s not envy the riches of the wicked because it’s only the spirit of God that makes rich without adding sorrow. They are not the yardstick by which we measure our success. Our measure is the word of God and His standards.

We all desire the glory of Christ but do not want to drink from the same cup that Christ drank from. Being Christians does not exclude us from tough times; we just need to become tough people. As believers, we need to realize that there is a price for success. Sometimes when we go through certain things and we complain about betrayal by friends and loneliness, we need to remember that it’s one of the prices we pay for success. God is a jealous God and would never allow man to take His glory. So do you want Him to give you that breakthrough or do you want it to come from a friend who would always remind you of how he made you who you are. I think I’ll stick to my God. God never told you that the road would be easy but you can be rest assured that when you get to the other side, you would be ready for the glorious destiny that He has prepared for you. In most cases, the promises of God is already established, but the question is, “are we ready for that blessing?” It’s just like a father who loves his son so much and promised his a Ferrari which he already owns. But the child in question is only 6 years old and cannot drive. Would the father give the child the car now? Your guess is as good as mine. Now that’s exactly what happens when we want a blessing that is rightfully ours but we are not prepared for it.

Nothing exposes our weaknesses and character deficiencies better that wealth or success. We all are flawed and God has a way of using delays to perfect our characters. It could be pride, lateness, drunkenness, human dependency, arrogance, back biting, gossip, procrastination, fornication, adultery, bad companies to mention a few. When you have a God given dream and it’s not coming to pass, we need to ask ourselves, “What is God trying to perfect in us?” The bible also makes us realize that a vision is for an appointed time. So when it’s not yet time for our vision, there is nothing we can do to assist God to bring it to life. A caterpillar is ugly but when it waits for proper metamorphosis it blossoms into a beautiful butterfly. Wait on God and ask Him to renew your faith and strength because without faith it’s impossible to please Him. Many of us only want to have faith when we can see the manifestation of the promise. That is not faith. Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen – Hebrews 11:1.

Having considered the spiritual dimensions of achieving one’s vision, it would be unchristianly not to consider the practical dimensions. We cannot continue to do things the same way and expect a different result. There is a need for us to assess our lives and the ways we do things. If you are into business, maybe you need to start leveraging the power of your network or partnership. You might also want to expand your network to make provision for your areas of weakness. There might be a need for you to either reinvent or rebrand yourself and your product. It’s useless to have a solution or product that the people who need it are not aware of. So how are you marketing your product? If you are looking for a new job, you might want to change the format of your CV or cover letter. Forget the conventional approach of asking people for a job but rather creating a perception that they need you to move to the next level. Begin to see yourself as a brand and not just a job seeker. And if you try your best and the job is still not coming, then why not create one and start employing other people. Begin to see problems as opportunities in disguise. You are the solution to the problems of your generation. Forget about high sounding qualifications that don’t add practical values. Develop yourself in the areas of your weakness while also building on your strength.

For those who are seeking life partners, get rid of your rigidity. To make friends we need to be first friendly. You need to drop all the baggage from your past. Stop comparing every guy that you meet with John, your ex boyfriend. If he was meant for you, he wouldn’t be with another woman right now. Let go of the hurt of the past and forgive the ex lovers who hurt you in the past. By so doing you take full control of your emotional life. When you chose to fall in love, do not lose your sense of rationality; your love cannot change people’s character only the spirit of God can. You are the child of the most high God and deserve a partner because the bible says that none shall lack their mate. Renew your mind; there are good women and men out there who are also looking for a good natured person like you. Ask God for guidance and do not be too scared to love. When fear of heartbreak wants to prevent you from acting neutralize it with the thoughts of joy, companionship and synergy that come from a successful relationship. There are no perfect relationships from heaven; we all have to work at it to perfect that which we have.

Iron sharpens iron. We have been called to encourage each other. Tough times would always come but it’s how we handle them that would determine where we end up in life. At times like these let’s confide in good friends who can build us up; those we can lean on in times of adversity. But ultimately God is the source of our strength. If He gave you the vision, He would provide for the vision. I just passed by to encourage that person who is going through some stuff that makes them want to give up, to keep the faith. That which you desire is closer than you imagine. Sorrow may last the night, but joy comes in the morning. It’s your morning time. Cheers.

Together, we can achieve more. Cheers

A Fatherless Generation (3)

2010-03-01T02:29:00.000-08:00

My father did well for himself. His father; my grandfather died when he was less than ten years old. That meant he had to live with his uncle who had about five wives. My father’s addition to the family was quite welcome because that meant that they now had a servant in the house. Whatever needed to be done in the house which the wives would rather not have their children do, Dekunle was there to the rescue. He shared with us on many occasions; especially when he wanted us to remember our fortunate we were, how he had to fill up about five drums with water drawn from a deep well. This he had to do every morning before going to school. So he had to wake up very early, while his cousins were still sleeping, to make sure there was water for everyone in the house. Then he had to walk about 5 or 10 kilometers to school every morning. After his high school, he started working and also started paying his own uncle for the room he was staying. My father loves documentation and he still has receipts for the rents he paid before eventually moving out.

Through hard work and God’s favour he achieved all that he achieved. The rest they say is history. The boy that was maltreated eventually became the financial pillar of the whole family; a philanthropist of some sort. Yes my father did well and many times I am very proud of him. There were times though that I wished I had a better relationship with him. I wish he had a better means of communication with me and vice versa. I wish he talked with me as against talking to me. A father should help cultivate the warrior in his son and not make him timid. He should help prepare him for the harsh realities of the battles of life. When the lover in his son is confused his love should provide clarity and guidance from his pouch of tested wisdom. I wish we had a meaningful time of togetherness and his encouragement in my aspirations.

This is quite common with most African fathers. Many of them grew up not having a close relationship with their fathers; hence they cannot give what they never had. This does not mean that they never loved us, it is just they have their own ways of showing it. As I said earlier, I thought I was adopted because of the hardness of my father, but there was a day I went through my father’s wallet and to my surprise there was only one picture in it; mine. I was baffled. It changed my perception forever about this man. We never went fishing together back then but I had the rare privilege of being the only child he took for jazz concerts. Then there was the time that I had chicken pox. My beloved mother would not touch me with a stick because she was scared of contacting it. Without any show of fear, my father administered all the medication even though I looked like a masquerade. I was broken hearted when about three weeks later he came down with the same ailment, which almost took his life. These are some of the things I would never forget about my father.

Together, we can achieve more. Cheers

A fatherless Generation (2)

2010-02-25T04:34:00.000-08:00

This encapsulates the problem of this generation; a fatherless generation. In most of the cases, it wasn’t that the fathers were absent from home, rather they were too busy trying to fulfill their roles as providers for the family to remember that they also have responsibilities as teachers to their confused sons. As a young boy growing up, there were so many things I wanted to know but I was too scared to turn to my father. Scared because every time I thought of my father what came to mind was that big guy who set you straight when your mother reckoned that her loving correction was not commensurate to the offence committed. Daddy was the one you had to wait for to make decision concerning financial needs in the house. He had the final say in almost all things and my mom was more of my lawyer, interceding on my behalf in some instances.

But for some funny reasons, my sisters didn’t seem scared of my father so this meant that I grew up thinking that I was definitely adopted. There were also many occasions when I thought that I was also more or less an experimental child. Temi is going to school; let’s give him 10kobo for lunch. Even though I protested that it was not enough my complain fell on deaf ears. They would tell me, boy you have to learn to manage. When Motunde, my immediate younger sister started school they suddenly realized that 10 kobo was not enough and the lunch money was increased to 20 kobo. That also probably explained why I was probably the only one that went to public school in my family. I was in the same public primary school with Motunde and then suddenly they felt the quality was too low. So the decision was for her to go to a private school while I stayed back since I was already going to primary 5. That became the standard in my family, as all my 8 sibling went to private primary schools.

All these events that took place when I was very young influenced my tender mind and helped shape my perceptions of my father. My father was a hard man. Like most African fathers, he believed that if you spare the rod, then you spoil the child. That was strange though because I was the only male child for a very long time. Amongst the Yoruba people, as with many African cultures, male children tend to have privileges. Not me. The only assurances I had was that for every time I went wrong, my behind would get the stick. That was because my father believed that not doing all these would make me irresponsible and then he would have regrets later on in life. This assertion was based on his life and personal experience.

Together, we can achieve more. Cheers

A Fatherless Generation.....

2010-02-11T04:16:00.000-08:00

The holiday is over and it’s time to face the New Year. Like most people, I am rearing to go but God has a strange way of detaining you especially when He has a message to pass across to you. I love to travel and many people have a thing against that. Sometimes I think it’s just plain jealousy and at other times I think it’s because they find it strange that one would waste money on a trip to nowhere. But in reality, every time I come back from such trips, there is always a lesson to be learnt. So traveling for me has become a way to discover some of God’s hidden secrets.

I spent my New Year holiday in the Eastern Cape; Port Elizabeth and a place called Alice to be precise. I enjoyed my time in PE, which by the way is a beautiful coastal city with cool breeze enough to make one feel like relocating. Then we went to Alice where we spent the rest of our holiday. While in Alice, I met this teenage boy with an improbable background. When he was a baby, the parents were poor and they abandoned him in the house. Left to die, he was discovered by an elderly lady two days after. Being very old and unable to take care of him, the gogo handed him over to her daughter to nurture. So this little boy grew up as the last child of this woman; my friend’s mother in-law. The intelligence of this young man is quite astounding. I learnt that he is also the best academically in his class.

One thing he said shocked me. We were driving down his street and we saw a guy probably in his early or mid twenties, sitting in the porch of his house smoking cigarette. The little boy said to us, “that is how people sit idle, thinking they are living while unfortunately life passes them by”. I was shocked because this boy is about fourteen or fifteen. On another occasion, wanting to engage his mind further, I asked him about HIV and its prevalence in a township like Alice. He said to me it was not too rampant but that there are certain spots that can be regarded as the epicenter of HIV in the township. He mentioned some shebeens and a pub in the town. Then when asked about the sexual lifestyles of young people around his age, he said some have sex but he knows that it’s just peer pressure and that they are stupid to fall for such a trick. I felt stupid myself. Stupid because I fell into the category of people he was referring to.

This interaction with this young man got me thinking about my first sexual encounter as a teenager. I was sixteen I think. I wish I knew what this young man knows at his age and I am almost very sure that I would have done things differently. I was already in boarding school then and came home on holidays. My friends started asking me if I had slept with a girl before and I said no. They all looked at me in amazement and made comments about me being naïve. They told me stories of their escapades and the need for me to do the same so that I could be considered as one of the big boys around. They even went as far as advising on which girl they knew I could lose my virginity to. I was told that all I had to do was invite her to my house for lunch but I was to make sure the lunch was served in the bedroom. She came and their plan worked. But what I was supposed to do with her, I had little or no idea. So your guess is as good as mine, it was over before it even started. So I lost my virginity; if men are still allowed to use that word, to a girl around the corner.

The feeling of guilt came rushing at me. I also later discovered that the girl in question had been around the block but because I was the last to sleep with her, I had the dubious honor of being called her boyfriend. I hated myself. In order not to be referred to as her boyfriend, I did everything possible to find another girl. And that cycle continued for a long time. If only I knew what this young boy knew at this age, I am sure that my life would have been less complicated. If only I had a father to guide me. If only I had a father that I could have turned to for directions. I did have a father, but one that I was too scared of to turn to for wisdom. Like the average African father, my father loved me but in ways that his strength would not allow him to show.

(To be Contd.)

Together, we can achieve more. Cheers

How Deep is your love - (2)

2010-02-09T02:04:00.000-08:00

Then he said to me, “hiding a past hurt does not make it disappear, it simply makes the hurt run deeper”. So I prayed for God to heal this hurt that later translated into hatred. I thank God for His revelation and healing. Does that mean that I am now willing to accept homosexuality and homosexuals as being normal? No. It simply means that I would stop wasting my energy on hating that which I cannot create, but rather would see them with the lens through which God sees them. I hate the sin but not the sinner. The new found freedom that I now have allows me to say a word of prayers when I run into these special children of God. I don’t understand them and their ways but I pray that God who searches the heart would grant them a life transforming encounter with Him. I also pray that His love grow more in my heart because without His love, my attempt at having compassion for others is doomed. As the bible say, “Above all things have fervent love for one another, for love will cover a multitude of sins.

I wasn’t sure of how this whole love of God for gays would pan out, so I decided to try it out. So I went to have a hair cut at my barber’s, knowing well that there was a gay guy working there. He was one of those twisted guys who believe God intended to make them female. So he dresses, acts and talks like a woman. My barber told me of an incident when they had a misunderstanding and he shouted at him, threatening to beat him up. Then to my barber’s surprise, one of his customers; an elderly gentle man was really angry with him. He said and I quote, “that is no way to handle a conflict with a lady”. Nothing he said could change the elderly man’s opinions that this was actually a man and not a woman. Yes, the gay guy is that twisted.

On getting to the salon, he was having his hair made, just like the other women in the salon. For the first time I looked at him and made a comment about being surprised at the extent to which this guy would go to prove that he is a “diva”. I felt so much compassion for him; pity at his confusion and ignorance. I realized the initial hatred I had was no longer there, all I had was a genuine wish that God could do something to bring this young man out of the conundrum of confusion and fictitious existence. Unfortunately there is very little that I can do apart from wishing him God’s divine intervention. I felt good inside of me and I know that this feeling had to do with the fact that the negative power of resentment no longer has a place in me.

It is one thing for us to desire something holy and righteous even to the extent that we behave as Christ did with the money changers in the church in the bible. But we cannot allow the devil to also sow his tars in our wheat of righteous longing by trying to remove specks from people’s eyes while ignoring the logs in ours. Well let God be God and man be man, full of weaknesses and short comings.

Together, we can achieve more. Cheers

How deep is your love

2010-02-04T03:23:00.000-08:00

I am sure that quite a number of you who are Christians would know or might have heard the song, “Jesus, lover of my soul….. I love you, I need you, though my world may fall but I’ll never let you go.” The song is quite soulful and I connect with it. I believe David was the one guy in the bible who had so much love for God; you almost would think he was talking about some woman. Well when I was younger, I used to plagiarize from the Songs of Solomon when there was a need to impress a girl. Such was the passion these guys had for God.

One thing I think we sometimes fail to realize is that a relationship is a two way thing. This reality hit me when the spirit of God brought to my awareness the salient reality that I miss when I sing this simple but powerful song. The simple question He dropped in my mind was, If He is the lover of your soul, is He also your lover? My automatic response was, yes. Yes I love God and I might not be at the David’s level of romance with Him but I believe He is my lover. Then He said to me, but how do you love the God that you can not see? And almost immediately He prompted an answer, “ By loving the creations of His hands.” Then I wanted to know where He was going with this Q&A session. Then He said, “For as long as you have deep hatred for homosexuals and gay people, then you are still yet to embrace my love in entirety.

I was quite confused because if you knew a thing or two about me, you would know that I cannot stand homosexuality. It is immoral and against my Christian belief. I even refer to them as sons of perdition and hence deserve no mercy or affection from me. I remember once going on a visit with Kb to some of her friends in Jozy. I was shocked when we got there and it turned out to be that they were a gay couple; white and black. Maybe Michael Jackson would have loved that but I was gutted and had to try as much as possible to disguise my true feelings for them. But that was difficult because the white one would want to hug me every now and then. I made it out alive anyway and even went as far as hanging out with them at Monte Casino; all for Kb. So there is no love lost between me and gay people.

So why should God want me to love them in order to access His love? Moreover that wasn’t what I was praying for. I was praying for God to restore me and to heal every brokenness in spirit from past hurt. Then He asked me if I had ever wondered why I despise homosexuals so much. I thought it was simply because it was immoral and they also try to hit on me. Then He flashed my mind back to a long forgotten past. A past shrouded in guilt. I was less than ten years old and a boy touched me sexually even though I didn’t have any understanding of the implications. I was rescued by an early crush on some girl down the street. As I grew older, I grew in knowledge and hated myself for allowing another boy touch me. But I thought I had outgrown that past.

(To be continued)

Together, we can achieve more. Cheers

Happy 2010

2010-01-18T03:31:00.000-08:00

Happy 2010 to everyone. It is a year that has been long awaited by so many people for different reasons, chief of which would be the world cup. Personally I have great expectations for the year and hope that I would accomplish all that I have set out to achieve. As my pastor said, this would be a year of great reward; reward for both the wicked and the righteous. So my advice for you would be to try as much as possible to live on the right side of humanity. Blogging can be boring when you get no feed backs and criticisms from people. Without such contributions, I am almost sure I probably would have stopped blogging. So I want to thank those of you who find time to visit my blog and especially those who encourage me and those who give their positive criticisms. Thank you.

As you might already know, I don’t do New Year resolutions. Instead I have what I call the personal master plan, which high lights areas of my life that I would like to improve on. These include professional aspirations, personal development, relationship, family e.t.c. It lists my visions for these aspects of my life and the plans to achieve them. And because it is a long term plan (5 years), when I fail once, I am not pressured to give up as usually occurs with new year resolutions. It is also a living document and therefore can be updated with ease.

I strongly recommend the personal master plan but if you are one of those who prefer the much more traditional New Year resolution, I pray that God gives you the ability to stick to your resolutions. As for me, I am celebrating the victories of last year while also strategizing on how to achieve the outstanding goals. This is the year that I aspire to come out of my hiding to bring glory to God. This year I intend to make God famous. What about you? May your road be rough.

Happy Together, we can achieve more. Cheers

A time to forgive &move on

2009-12-14T04:09:00.000-08:00

As men we often wear this toga of infallibility. We act macho even in the face emotional disappointment and heart breaks. You often hear about how this guy broke that girl’s heart and as usual you hear the common saying, “men are heartless”. Well I think that nothing can be further from the truth than this fallacy. Or maybe I am just a different kind of guy, I don’t think so. In life there would always be good and bad people, we only have a cause to worry when evil is more prevalent than good. I am sure that there would indeed be some heartless men out there, just as there are heartless women.

I woke up this morning to pray and to my surprise I heard the spirit of God saying to me, let go of the hurt of the past. To my own amazement, faces of certain women started to flash in my head. I’ll not mention names to respect their privacy. But these are women who used their softness to penetrate the armor of my heart and left the warrior in me shattered. To these women I gave my heart on a platter but the platter they either rejected or smashed on the floor. I was broken, hurt in a place I never learnt to protect; my heart. First you feel nothing, then comes the feeling of rejection and like a deep flesh wound, the sharp pain sips into your body suddenly. You hurt because of a betrayed love; you hurt because hope just died. Then you say to yourself, “I don’t need this, I can always get any woman that I want”. That is when we start jumping from one woman to another, searching for that which we lost, in places where we cannot find them.

The irony is that when a woman says that her heart has been broken by a guy, it’s usually (not saying all the time) an aftermath of a broken heart that was not healed. Yes we all walk around with hidden hurts in our hearts without knowing it. A functional relationship between a man and a woman requires partners who are both whole, with no emotional baggage from past hurt. Unforgiveness is a burden on the carrier and that explains the hidden hurt we feel. I believe that we have perfected the art of concealing our unforgiveness that most times we also forget that they exist. I was surprised at the freshness of the hurt when the Holy Spirit prompted me to pray about it. This reminds me of what the bible says about us not knowing what to pray for and hence the need for the Holy Spirit to make intercessions for us. So instead of praying for a partner, the spirit knows that what you need pray for is just forgiveness.

I have made the decision to forgive those who hurt me emotionally in the past, intentionally and unintentionally. I believe that the hurt of the past was preparing me for a greater future. From the depth of my heart I pray that God will bless you with partners that would give you the happiness and contentment that you seek. You know yourselves and I believe that our paths crossed for a purpose. You still have my friendship if and when you want it. And as for those that I have also hurt because of my ignorance, please find it in your hearts to forgive me, it was never intended. Have a splendid day. Cheers

Together, we can achieve more. Cheers

The Eskom board room tussle

2009-11-12T23:15:00.000-08:00

Let me first start by appealing to anyone that knows my father to please appeal to him not to keep reminding me of the fact that I am still single. Every day I come back to a quiet flat it reminds me of that fact, so I am sure that I can do with a little breather from him. I know that the intentions are genuine, but the additional pressure is counterproductive as women tend to perceive a sense of desperation which is not necessary. But if he wants to go ahead with his plan of finding a good woman from a good family for me, well that would also be fine. That’s just by the way; this is a topic for another day.

A lot has happened in the past few weeks around South Africa in terms of management of government owned parastatal. The new trend seems to be that once black people rise to the hem of affairs; there seem to be a power ready to push them out. People have different opinions about why this happen. Some believe that white people just can stand when a black man is the boss while some believe that black people lack the ability to run such organizations profitably. First it was Dali Mpofu at the SABC, then Siyabonga Gama at Transnet, and now Jacob Maroga at Eskom. Sorry did I forget the guy that used to be the CEO of SAA, Khaya Ngqula who was accused of mismanagement, yet had to be given a huge monetary settlement to terminate his appointment, even though the company was not profitable.

People are quick to pull the race card when things like these happen. But I am sure that based on the policies of the ANC, people who get to serve on these boards are either predominantly black or the party candidates. So I still find it hard to believe that the issue is just simply about white people not wanting black people to ascend the corporate ladder. One thing I can be sure about is the fact that styles of management might be very different, so while many black people might not see anything wrong with man-know-man style of business being disguised as BEE, the white man thinks that its unfair practice. I am not in a position to judge whether BEE should be scrapped or not but I do know that you do not right a wrong with another wrong.

I was particularly interested in the final outcome of the Eskom debacle. First was news that the CEO, Maroqa resigned. Then the Black Management Forum and the ANC Youth League came out, all guns firing with the race card, saying that the CEO of the power utility company never resigned but was “edged” out by the Chairman of the board Bobby Godsell. Then to our surprise, the chairman resigned complaining about political interference in the running of the company, especially considering the fact that Maroga resigned voluntarily and now he was being dubbed racist. His resignation was accepted and an interim chairman was appointed who happened to be a black man. The new chairman came and reaffirmed the decision of the board, which was that Maroga was no longer the CEO.

So after about 2 weeks of bad publicity and miscommunication, the whole Eskom fiasco is over with two management vacancies. Who would become the new CEO and chairman remains to be seen. Whether that would affect the already proposed 45% hike in the price of electricity annually for three consecutive years is something we all eagerly look forward to. Even though I personally believe that the race issue would always pop up for a while, I am optimistic that economic and management sense would always prevail. I look to a future where issues would be debated on its merits and demerits, not on the basis of whether you are white, black, coloured or Indian. All said the beauty of this country is the freedom of speech. People love to talk and are encouraged to talk even when it is obvious they are talking “nonsense”. But at the end of the day the most important thing is that a consensus that moves the country forward is reached. I am sure that a lot can be learnt from the experimental democratic experience of this rainbow nation, where we disagree to agree.

Together, we can achieve more. Cheers

Time for Transformation

2009-11-06T03:40:00.000-08:00

I have often overlooked the use of the note facility on FB, reason being that I have a blog site which I blog on once in a while called the Naija boy in Jozi. But I have come to realise that I tend to spend more time on FB, at least because of the ease of keeping abreast of happenings in my friends' lives and the truth be told; I share a common addiction of many, the FB dependency.

So I decided, at least if I am going to use this medium created by some guy who is much younger than I am and who is smiling to the bank, I can as well find a creative use of the platform. So it is my intention to use this avenue as a means of getting across some of my opinions concerning issues that touch me in places that drives my passion. You can call it an extension of my blog site, but I intend to use it as a means of communicating my desire to see and be the change that I believe our society needs.

Yes I said our society, yet I live in Johannesburg South Africa, yet I am originally from Nigeria. So what society am I talking about, Well I guess you already have the clue, Africa is my society, I am domiciled in Joburg but Nigeria remains my passion. Hence the Naija boy in Jozi - uniting two nations by comparison. I want to be able to use the examples of qualities that are desirable in Nigerians to teach South Africans to become a better people while also using exemplary traits of this great rainbow nation to teach Nigerians how they can become the true giant that God has called them to be. As I know some people would quickly interject, "but better is very relative". And yes I agree that's why it’s my note and not theirs. But I am very open to criticisms that are positive.

What exactly do I hope to be writing about? I am not so sure yet, but I believe it would almost be like doing a SWOT analysis of our livelihood, developing on our STRENGTH, working on our WEAKNESSES, finding means of tapping into our OPPORTUNITIES, while also guarding against factors that can constitute THREATS to our existence as a people. In between though, I might also chose to write about personal struggles that I encounter on my way to becoming who God has called me to be.

It is my desire that we would be able to help build leaders into trans-generational thinkers who know that it is their responsibility to build a better society and leave a legacy for generations to come. We need more people to share the vision that a nation can only be transformed by transforming the people. So it is time for us to be the change that we want and deserve. Cheers.

Together, we can achieve more. Cheers

Trying times

2009-11-06T02:32:00.000-08:00

I have come to realize that it is much easier to write about other people or happenings around me than to write about myself. And the truth really is that a blog gives very little room for privacy. Not that I have not had times when I blogged about personal matters and heart breaks, of course I did; playing my weakness to the gallery once or twice. But there were consequences. I once had a female friend ask me about my ex-girlfriend and while trying to respond to her, she asked, is that the first one or the third one? I was surprised and she said but I read it from your blog. Things have been spooky to me on blogsville ever since.

So maybe not about the heart I thought; especially considering the fact that I just seem to have a thing for heart breakers. But the story gets even more complex when you are heartbroken, you need a new job and you are a Nigerian. You tend to feel lonely, incapable and rejected by the society. I remember one of my colleagues coming to my desk and asking me, Temi why do you like slaving away when you can be making so much money? Then I asked him how this money can be made, then he said, but you know what business your brothers do in this country; drugs. I told him how stupid and crazy he was. Obviously I knew he was only clowning around. But yes we all still have that stereotype hanging over our heads being Nigerians.

It really can be frustrating trying to get a new job when you are a Nigerian in this country. One would have thought the mere fact that you are qualified and have been in the work force for a while would make a difference, but to my surprise it seems as if it would be easier to pass a camel through the proverbial eye of the needle. You keep sending the CVs but without positive response. It has gotten to a point where you begin to recognize adverts in the job mail or career junction simply because you check them at least twice a day. Eish. The normal tendency would be for one to get depressed and begin to play the self pity game. But unfortunately the devil’s got something else coming his way. It’s the time to re-strategize and apply new tactics. In war strategy separates the victor from the vanquished. God has not given us the spirit of fear or timidity. The sound mind that He has given me, I would use to achieve that which I desire. It is sheer folly to keep doing things the same way, yet expect a different result. It is time for transformation.

Together, we can achieve more. Cheers

District 9 : Shame on you Mr. Blomkamp

2009-09-21T06:07:00.000-07:00

I am a lover of good movies. If a movie makes me laugh or make me shed a tear or two, then the producer of the film would have done a very good job. But when a film depicts a group of people in a manner that’s despicable then something is definitely wrong. That’s the case with District 9.

It seems to me that any South African film maker who wants his work to be prominent creates a scene depicting Nigerians as drug dealers or unruly citizens of this country. In Jesrusalema, we were depicted as drug lords and pimps. I thought that was wrong because there are so many Nigerians like myself (and indeed we are in the majority) who contribute to the development and economic well being of this country. We are doctors, engineers, lecturers, business people, models, artistes, to mention but a few. But I also know that we have some unscrupulous elements (who are in the minority) amongst us who bring shame to us through their shady dealings in drugs and fraudulent scams.

So even though Jerusalema portrayed Nigerians in a bad light, I felt that it was practicable and realistic that such things happen in Joburg. But when District 9 came out with all the hype about being the first African Sci-Fi movie, I was eager to see it. Little did I know that I was in for a shocker. I would not discuss the movies as I do not intend to give it extra publicity that it doesn’t deserve. The film depicted us as cannibals and gang stars. They head of the gang was called Obasanjo; the name of our immediate past president, who wanted to cut the arm of the lead actor with the aim of eating it to gain mystical powers. They were also running whore houses that provided sexual services by humans for the aliens in the middle of Soweto, come on people.

I am not saying that the film was not good, but I believe that direct referencing to Nigeria was not necessary. An author has a literary freedom to create characters for his work but when they have a negative perception about another country, I would consider that a political attack on the integrity of the country. We live in a world where some westerners still think that the whole of Africa is a jungle filled with little Tarzans jumping from tree to tree. Now we have an African (if we can call Mr. Neill Blomkamp one) using his creative freedom to debase Africa’s most populous nation without any thought about the consequences of such actions. Thanks to him, a 16 year old boy in France would forever be scared of a people he knows little about except for what he saw in District 9.

The decision to ban the viewing of the film in Nigeria is a welcome idea. But beyond that, I believe we deserve a public apology from Mr. Blomkamp and Sony. But as my father usually say, when someone calls you a bastard, you need not fight them, as long as you know the son of whom you are. I am passionately Nigerian , omo Alakija l’orisa, omo alagogo oje…….Full Blooded Ijebu (FBI)

Together, we can achieve more. Cheers

Faith happens

2009-08-20T08:29:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I last blogged. It’s not unconnected to my crazy deadlines at work. But that not withstanding, I was not too busy to attend the premiere of a beautiful Christian movie aptly titled, faith happens. I experienced mixed emotions while watching this film.

It was quite a down to earth film with characters most of people can identify with. As Christians we still have to live in this world even though the bible says that we are not of this world. The film made me laugh, cry and also have a rethink about how I intend to raise my family. It is one of those films the whole family needs to see together so that parents can look at their kids in the faces and promise them, “We would never do this to you”
The film should be in a cinema near you from tomorrow, 21st of August 2009. I intend to go watch it again with friends and my loved one. Faith would happen in your lives.

Together, we can achieve more. Cheers

Lonely in Jozi

2009-07-22T07:30:00.000-07:00

I am not sure if my loneliness has to do with the winter or with the fact that I am perhaps the only single guy in Jozi. Not even my usually bottles of Four cousin is helping my situation. I am not gay and didn’t necessarily take an oath of celibacy. So I wonder whatever happened to the randy engine Joe with all the female attention.

Guess as one grows older and allow God’s word shape his life, certain habits drop by the way side. A glass is either half filled with water or half empty, depending on how we chose to see it. I can either chose to see myself as a lonely and pitiable young male in Jozi, or as a charming upwardly-mobile Nubian prince. Arrogant and full of myself? I don’t think so, if you have it, flaunt it to the glory of your creator.

Like I always say, happiness is a choice we make. I chose to be happy regardless of the weather or my single status. I’m looking forward to the weekend, fancy going to the movies.
Together, we can achieve more. Cheers

In loving memory of Michael Jackson

2009-07-08T07:32:00.000-07:00

Certain events define a generation. Yesterday was one of those days that will go down in history as the end of a milestone. The day people came together to pay their last respect for someone seemingly enigmatic yet loved by many. It was one of those days that you’ve always known would come but nothing you do can prepare you for it. It was the day an “orisa” was buried. The day Michael Jackson my childhood hero was laid to rest in the bosom of the lord.

I can still remember vividly my bedroom when I was much younger. It had posters of stars that I loved on its wall. With the posters on my wall, you could tell who my musical girlfriend was at that moment in time. They kept changing; Madonna, Salt (from Salt N Pepa) Mariah Carrey, Tboz. But there was one poster that outlasted all the others. That of Michael Jackson. I never fooled myself by attempting to dance like him, but I found his music and performance electrifying. And for every time anyone tried to castigate him, I would come to his defense like his brother.

I started setting myself in the mood for the memorial (even though I was going to watch it on TV in the comfort of my apartment) by watching online videos on CNN. When I got home I tuned my TV to CNN even though my flat mate thought I was being too childish sitting all night just to watch a memorial for Michael. My answer was a question, “what else could I be watching, when even Obama and his cabinet was doing the same, in the middle of their official deliberation. The Yorubas refer to gods as “Orisa”. This ordinarily creates a perception of idol worship, but Yoruba historians believe that the word actually refers to unique people who live a life that defines a generation. Literarily the word means someone that God created specially with so much talents, abilities beyond the rest of their generation. In modern day lingo, we would call such people Uba-Guru.

Many of our opinions about this man were shaped by the media, who helped to create his larger than life image, while also dragging him through the mud. It was refreshing to actually have people who knew him and shared his private life with him, talk about the real man behind the mask. That he was frustrated by media was not news, but it was shocking to discover that he actually ate KFC while hosting Magic Johnson in his home. And the testimonials went on and on.

Rev.Al Sharpton tore the room down with his oratory abilities and rounded up by saying to M.J’s kids, “Nothing strange about your daddy, it was strange what your daddy had to deal with but he dealt with it anyway”. Seeing usher cry while singing was quite moving but when M.J’s daughter Paris spoke about her daddy and how she loves him, it summed up my emotions for the evening. It was indeed a celebration of a man that helped o break down the barrier of racism even at the expense of his health. Unconventional as that might sound.

Berry Gorden said the title “King of pop’ might not be an appropriate one to describe the genius we call Michael Jackson, instead he thought Michael was the greatest entertainer that ever lived. Then the reverend gentleman who rounded up the memorial eulogized Michael but rounded up by saying “and now the king of pop will now bow to the King of Glory”. With that i remembered the words of another king, King Solomon, Vanity upon vanity, all is but vanity. Rest in peace Michael. You will always live in our hearts.

Together, we can achieve more. Cheers

Happy moments at the Confed Cup

2009-06-19T06:06:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder how one can define happiness and whether there is really one definition that suits everyone. Perhaps the reason why it eludes us is because we have unrealistic expectations of what happiness is and things that can make us happy. I am sure many people would believe that landing that big job, buying that beautiful car you’ve always been passing in a taxi or buying that lovely home in Hyde Park will suddenly bring happiness into their lives. For some it could be getting married while for other it might be having babies. But how does one come to terms with very rich people committing suicide in their lovely mansions or married couple who suddenly seek divorce just 6 months into the “happy” marriage.

These things are good but we can not afford to tie our happiness to ephemeral things or to other people’s moods and existence. I believe that happiness can be found in the little things that we usually take for granted. It could be the smile from a stranger on the street, the little child blowing the vuvuzela or just the thought of God’s mercy. Many of us don’t really know how beautiful the sky looks until we fall on our backs. Many people seek happiness in the midst of the many problems of this age. We have worries about global economic problems, swine flu, terrorists attacks, political unrest, kidnapping in the Niger delta, and now North Korea testing nuclear weapon. Many of these issues we do not have direct influences over hence we can not afford to allow them determine our happiness. Our attitude has a lot to do in determining our happiness. We can either chose to moan or go out of our ways to be happy.

Even though I have been learning to take charge of my life in the past few months, I really must say that watching two Confederations cup matches live yesterday made me happy. It was a good time spent with friends and loved one. The happiness that I feel was not just because of the people I was with but also because of the humanity that I felt from being in the midst of people of different races and colours. The sound of the loud vuvuzela cheering the players to give their best and the beautiful sight of the Mexican waves moving from one end of the stadium to the other. Even the children would not be left out of this historic event regardless of the fact that the match was played late into the night. And when Egypt (the African champion) beat Italy (the world champion) the joy of the African crowd knew no bounds. Even though the park &ride transport arrangement was quite disorderly after the game, it was not enough to douse the good feeling I felt last night as I went to bed.

If there is anything I have learnt from my experiences and that of others, it would be the fact that the simple things in life tend to bring with them, great satisfaction and a deep feeling of accomplishment. Lets go out of our ways this weekend to make ourselves happy and in so doing we can build a happy society.

Egypt salute South African fans

Together, we can achieve more. Cheers

Why I want to sue my father..

2009-06-12T06:52:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning with an unrealistic thought on my mind. I would love to sue my father if it is possible. His offence? Terminating my football career even before it started. I know everyone tend to lie about being good at one sport or the other while they were younger, which normally can not be substantiated by anyone. In my case I really used to be a fascinating footballer in my neighborhood back then and I still have friends who I used to play with who will bear me witness, if they have no beef for me. It was a known fact on the street back then that my father was against me playing soccer on the street, so I was quite popular simply because everyone was on the look out for my father’s car. Once the car was sighted, then goes the shout “Tope your daddy” and I’ll run into the house.

So why am I suddenly interested in suing my father? Very simple. Cristiano Ronaldo. Real Madrid just agreed to pay Manchester United $130 Million for the services of Ronaldo, just to play soccer. A game that I used to play with so much passion and which I had great abilities. This is the highest amount of money ever paid for a footballer. And there I was busy slaving away in the university just to get a mechanical engineering degree because it was supposed to give me a secured future. Tell me who is smiling now. I have my reservations about Manchester united but I have always had profound respect for Ronaldo. He is an Ubaguru in football. Even though he has passion for what he does, you can also see on his face that it goes beyond just playing for fun. Just as we slave away in the office, when this guy in on the field, you have a feeling he is working and playing.

In the parable of the sower, a master gave his servants different amount of talents and while the ones with many talents sowed theirs, the servant with one refused to use his. The moral of the story is that we are all talented but just need to realize the areas of our talent and use it to the benefit of the world. For some the talents are quite obvious while for others it might have to be discovered. Jay Jay Okocha was once quoted as saying that he was amazed that he was being paid to play soccer because he loved the game so much he would have paid to play it. When a man is diligent in what he does, he definitely will stand before kings and not mere men. The beauty of standing before kings is that when you leave the presence of kings, riches and honor comes with you.

Some are asking if any footballer is worth putting so much money on, but I’ll rather respond to their question with another question. If someone decided to pay you this much for doing what you do for a living, will you accept it or simply say it’s too much? Your guess is as good as mine. But with such huge amount of money comes a huge expectation. Anyway football business is a type of business and I am sure that Real Madrid has already made plans on how to recoup their investment. As for my legal battle with my dad, I am still consulting with my lawyers on the possibilities of winning this case and which court would have jurisdiction over this kind of matter. I am sure Judge Judy might be my last resort.

Fabio Cannavaro: Real Madrid Signed Cristiano Ronaldo Last Year

Together, we can achieve more. Cheers

Uncomfortable African cities....

2009-06-10T05:36:00.000-07:00

I read an article titled, “The world’s best and worst cities”. The Economist Intelligence Unit’s LIVEABILITY RANKING is a part of the Worldwide Cost of Living Survey, which assesses living conditions in 140 cities around the world by assigning a rating of relative comfort for over 30 qualitative and quantitative factors across five broad categories: stability; healthcare; culture and environment; education; and infrastructure. It was not surprising and almost expected that African cities would be at the bottom of the list.

Vancouver is rated as the most comfortable city to live in the world. At the top end of the global easy-living scale, Vienna is in second place followed by Melbourne, Toronto, Perth, Calgary, Helsinki and Geneva, with Sydney and Zurich in joint 9th place.
The Japanese city of Osaka is just outside the top 10 on 13th place, and Tokyo is at joint 19th with Frankfurt. Our Johannesburg comes in at the 92nd position jointly with Rio de Janeiro. At the bottom of the list we have Lagos in 136th position while Harare came in last at 140th.

Even though we are probably the richest continent in terms of natural resources, most of our countries are amongst the most under developed in terms of infrastructure. We still live in a continent that probably has more people dying from malaria than HIV. Ours is a continent that could go to bed this night peacefully and wake up the next morning to the sound of machine guns of rebels attempting to take over power. I have a colleague who told me that as kids they used to walk almost 7 km to get to school every day, while we still have students who can not make it to school because of an over flooding river.

The question begging to be answered really is, “what do we do with all the billions we make from the revenue of our natural resources?” In most developed countries, we have a majority of people in position of leadership, who have succeeded in their personal businesses before venturing into politics. In our case the reverse is the case. We have leaders who come into public offices with little or nothing in their accounts, only to leave office (if they accept to leave) richer than their constituencies. And when they need medical check ups, they fly abroad to the developed countries. They send their children to expensive Ivy League schools with their stolen treasure. They buy very expensive cars and they forget that they need good roads to driven their luxury automobile.

We need leaders who would leave good legacies and not empty treasuries. We also need a followership that is not complacent but one that demands accountability, service and functional governance from the leadership. Together we can rid our societies of crime, corruption, stagnation, segregation, lack of quality education, dysfunctional health sector, degrading infrastructure, tyrannical leadership, to mention a few. God give us men and women, a time like this demand. Amen.

Together, we can achieve more. Cheers

Naija night at Moyo...

2009-06-05T07:17:00.000-07:00

Night life in Johannesburg is almost incomplete without the so many night clubs in Jozi. If you are not in Moloko, you probably would be in Sankayi or Taboo. As they say, been there, done that and got a T-shirt to show for it. But in the past few months I have come to realize that patronizing these joints has turned out to be a boring venture. I am sure the music hasn’t changed and the people who go there are probably still the same, but maybe my tendency to pretend to be having fun while wishing I was in my bed is what has changed. The clubs are usually tight and the music is too loud to have a decent conversation. So as much as possible I have been away from the night clubs.

I usually would prefer hanging out in a bar or a restaurant with good music while chatting with friends. That suits my personality much more than hanging out in places where people are dressed up like dulls to catch the attention of the opposite sex. So when I heard that Olufemi, a Nigerian artist based here in Jozi, was playing at Moyo Restaurant in Melrose Arch, I decided to go spend some time there. Olufemi is a multi talented Nigerian saxophonist whose youth belies his musical capabilities. He will literally blow you away with his charm & musical style he terms ‘Afro-Soul Fusion’.

A combination of afro beat, highlife, batanga, reggae, jazz and spiritual afro dance, which he marries with the contemporary vibes of keyboard & drums. Olufemi is not only a skilled musician who sings and plays all brass wind instruments and piano but is also a songwriter and an arranger. I was happy to run into some friends there and to say that the atmosphere was casual would have been an understatement. The music brought nostalgic feelings of growing up in Lagos. Olufemi treated the audience to his rendition of many old and new Nigerian artists’ songs, ranging from Fela, Victor Olaiya to Tuface Idiabia. A bit of afro beat, high life, jazz, kwaito, reggae and agidigbo music filled the atmosphere to the delight of many people around.

There were also many South Africans who did not understand the languages of some of the songs but were dancing to the music. That was a true indication of the universality of music. My happiness stemmed from the fact that people of this country had an opportunity to see a different side of us, devoid of the negative perception of drug dealing. I have always said that image is a perception in the minds of people, which is a reality to them. There is therefore a need to manage the perception with diligence. Good work Olufemi. Yours truly also had the benefit of granting an interview to the crew of Africa Awake, which is a breakfast program on Africa Magic. How about that for unsolicited publicity? Have a wonderful weekend.

Together, we can achieve more. Cheers

Which way Naija..$500 million for meeting?

2009-05-27T06:48:00.000-07:00

Strange things happen in the country called Nigeria. I read an article about the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission on Monday filed a 32-count charge against the Group Managing Director of Transcorp, Mr. Tom Iseghohi, over an alleged N15bn fraud. Some of these allegations are quite shocking considering the fact that they are quite insulting to human intelligence.

How can you spend $500 million organizing meetings abroad for the GMD? I am not sure how much they spend to organize a trip for some presidents, but I am very sure that amount of money will have meaningful impact on the economies of certain countries in Africa. I am amazed at the seeming lack of checks and balances in government owned businesses. We need to stop making mockery of ourselves in front of the committee of nations. We are tired of people calling us names that we do not like, yet there are so many people in positions of leadership who continually nurture these false perceptions of us by their acts.

Transparency is one of the hallmarks of good leadership. But Fela Durotoye once taught me that there is nothing called bad leadership as we lose the right to the designation when we stop leading. So the right thing to actually say is that transparency is one of the hallmarks of leadership. As we embark on carving a new and positive identity for our nation, we need to eschew from our system this corruption that has eaten deep like a virus. Otherwise we would not be different from the stupid guy who is attempting to fill a basket with water.

If there is anything that is commendable though, it would be the fact that the EFCC is at least seen to be taking some steps towards bringing these people to book. My fear however is that this might just be too little but hopefully not too late.

Contradicting news : The arrest of Iseghohi: What is wrong with Nigerians?

And more corruption stories: Halliburton: Okiro Panel Quizzes Shinkafi, Etiebet, Kupolokun

Together, we can achieve more. Cheers

The night Asa rocked the Africa Day Concert in Jozi

2009-05-25T06:41:00.000-07:00

I had a beautiful weekend even though I had thought that not having money in my pocket would be a hindrance. But thank God for the City of Joburg and SABC 2, for organizing the African Day Concert. And because it was for mahala (free), all I had to do was just get myself to the venue; the Mary Fitzgerald square in Newtown. Asa, my home girl was performing and for that reason I was willing to brave the cold and stand for hours, knowing fully well that she would be the last to perform. This African party did rock –sharing the stage with Asa were Senegalese hip-hop pioneer Awadi, Benin’s Gang’be, South Africa’s own Gang of Instrumentals, the Soweto Gospel Choir and The Parlotones as well as some Lusophone flavor provided by Angolan, Yuri da Cunha.

Some of the regular members of my gang were there. Adam Mukendi rocked up at the concert looking like one of JZ’s body guards, in his trench coat. Marcel and his friend were also there while Cyril showed up much later with a beautiful lady by his side, to keep him warm. It was comforting that Fiyin changed her mind and made it there just before Asa came on stage. The Naija crew was not complete without Femi (and his girl, Shirley-Ann), Emeka and King.

Due to King’s relentless desire to meet Asa at all cost, we went to the entrance of the backstage, only to be denied entry. While we were negotiating with the security personnel, a car pulled by and guess who came out, Asa. Live and direct, no body guards or protocols. We ceased the golden opportunity to chart with her; unfortunately we had no camera for the Kodak moment. She wanted us to come in with her but the security insisted on us having the tag. Can you imagine? He wasn’t even going to allow Asa go in without her tag on. How about that for malicious obedience. That was our brief encounter with stardom (even though I had worked with her in the past in Naija). The girl sure makes me proud to be called a Naija man.

The performances were ecstatic while the stage was so beautiful. People had so much fun Mzansi style, regardless of the cold weather. The entrance of the Parlotones was quite creative (coming into the square on a fire truck) while the horns from Gang’be reminded me of the late Fela Kuti. Asa made it worth my while. She was soulful, sometimes melancholic. She made me home sick with her Yoruba renditions. Loneliness permeated my essence when she did Binbanke. That was quite ironic; just like being thirsty while holding a bottle of water…

The concert live up to its billing and achieved the aim for which it was organized; unity amongst Africans. Even if it was just for that evening, everybody came together to share a smile or a dance regardless or race or ethnicity. The only thing that mattered was just our common love for music and a desire to have fun with friends and loved ones. If only we could all go home with that spirit and allow that spirit abide with us. The spirit of oneness which we need to build the Africa of our dreams. Cheers

Together, we can achieve more. Cheers

Xenophobia - One year after.

2009-05-22T05:49:00.000-07:00

This week marks the one year anniversary of that black week that we all wish to forget. Around this time last year, a bunch of disgruntled South African nationals embarked on violent xenophobic attacks on foreigners living in certain informal settlements around the country. Quite a number of lives were lost, properties destroyed and the spirit of brotherliness broken. Many of the people involved were foreigners who had come to seek refuge in a country that portrays itself as a rainbow nation, a nation that claims that South Africa belongs to all who live in it. People threw sanity to the winds and stooped to the level of animals, destroying that which they can not create.

The events of May 2008 has come to teach us that when we build state-of-the-art edifices in a nation but fail to build its people by educating them, we are just throwing sand into the ocean. It becomes an exercise in futility. There have been many calls by some intellectuals to change the description of the attack from Xenophobia, to blackophobia; since only black foreigners were attacked. Many theories have been propounded as to the cause of the attack but I dare to add here that apart from pure criminal intentions, it could only have stemmed from ignorance. There is a tendency for people to always want to pin their problems on someone else. So the reason why they are poor is because of the foreigners coming to take their jobs. He doesn’t have a wife, because the foreigners are taking their women. They don’t have houses because we take their house. Amazing.

As foreigners, we also contribute our sweat and intellect to help build this great nation. We contribute the most important part of our lives, our youth to help develop this nation into an oasis of hope and a symbol of economic affluence. Not all Nigerians are foreigners, just as not all South Africans are rapists. In life, there would always be good and bad people, regardless of their nationality. If Africa is to become that great continent that people like Mandela, Nkurumah, Awolowo dreamt of, we would need to look beyond our differences and explore more our commonalities. You could be White, Black, Coloured, Indian, Arab or Chinese, but as long as your root is on the continent called Africa, you are African.

As we remember those who paid the ultimate sacrifice simply because they turned to their brothers for refuge in times of their trouble, let us all hallow their memory by dedicating a portion of this great land in remembrance of this human sacrifice. Let these sacrifices not have been in vain. Let there be a symbolic land mark that reminds us of the humanity that runs through our veins and our responsibility to protect human dignity regardless of creed, race or gender. But beyond these, let the love of God permeate our beings, so much more that we become lovers of the brethren. May God cleanse our land of the blood of the innocent. God rest the souls of the departed ones.

A poem of Xenophobic regret.

Together, we can achieve more. Cheers

Ndebele - A lesson in leadership

2009-05-20T01:11:00.000-07:00

I have been feeling a bit under the weather for some days now and I am sure its not unconnected with this change in weather. I will not fail though to comment on the recent happenings in the political arena concerning the new minister of Transport S’bu Ndebele. Ndebele used to be the MEC for transport in Kwazulu Natal some few years back and he implemented a development programme called Vukuzakhe, which allowed group of more than 30,000 emerging contractors benefit from a multi-million rands government projects. This created a platform for small contrators to emerge in the province.

So upon his appointment as a minister, the contractors decided to show their appreciation by buying him a Mercedes Benz S500 worth R1.1 Million. And then all hell was let loose. There were differing opinions on whether he should keep the gifts, which also included 2 head of cows, petrol vouchers, plasma TV, or to return them back to the contractors. After consultation with his party and the president, he decided to return the gift to the contractor, asking them to rather open a trust fund that would help other up coming contractors. That’s despite the fact that the law allows him to keep the gift. Well done Sbu, for passing the first test of responsive leadership

If there is anything that never ceases to amaze me about this country, it would be the manner in which they use every opportunity that comes their way as a learning curve. This democracy is only 15 years old and yet they are always ready to debate issues and criticize people in government in order to establish a style of governance that works for them. I have been trying to imagine a minister in Nigeria returning a gift back and it seem that would be a rare occurrence. I can hear some of my friends saying; that’s if the gift was declared in the first place. I believe that many African countries can learn a thing or two from this incident.

Leaders should look beyond just personal gratification and satisfaction but rather should be seen as being accountable to the people they serve. We need innovative leaders who are creative in providing solutions to the followership. Leaders who understand; that in reality, one very rich man in the midst of a generation of impoverished people, is a poor man. Cheers.

Together, we can achieve more. Cheers

Adam & Steve?

2009-05-18T06:29:00.000-07:00

I had a very quiet weekend, that’s if we discount the few hours I spent in some Congolese club in Sandton with some friends on Saturday night. The music was nice but I am sure sleeping in my bed and watching TV might have offered better entertainment. Hopefully that doesn’t make me a boring person. Anyway I spent a lot of my weekend between watching TV and reading a book. There was debate on e-TV about the rights of gays and lesbians, polygamy and women abuse.

Some of the views expressed were quite shocking for me as a Naija boy. I have 6 younger sisters that I treasure so much and therefore my stand concerning women abuse is quite clear. It is such a no no. Even though there are some women with mouths that can make a make miserable that is still not an excuse for a man to hit or abuse a woman. I am from a polygamous family and even though people have their reasons for getting into it, I personally would not go into one or recommend it simply because of the effects on the children. At least on these two issues I share a common opinion with some of the guys on the show.

But homosexuality and the church that I struggle to comprehend. They actually had a preacher on the show saying that homosexuals are also God’s children and should not be discriminated against because it is not different from the sin of adultery. I found that shocking coming from a minister of the gospel. It’s just like saying we should not criticize a known adulterer in the church. I personally believe that evil thrive when good people decide to ignore evil or wrong deeds in any society. But what really did I expect from a pastor that was wearing a dangling ear ring.

People like me are called names now. They say we are homophobic. It simply means that we are not sophisticated in our views and we are from the primitive age. But the last time I checked, those were the years when men and women knew their roles in the family and the family was functional. Divorce was not as rampant as in our “advanced intelligent” age.

People, can we be pragmatic about this abnormality some people are so proud to defend? If God wanted us to be in single sex relationships, He would have not created Adam and Eve, but rather Adam and Steve. Some even said that they have seen two male goats having sex. So our intelligence has become so advanced that we now compare ourselves with goats. But how then do two female goats mate? Do they use their tongues or their hoofs?

Homosexuals claim that it is not their fault that they are the way they are. They were born that way, so no one should criticize them. Then I guess we can as well go to the prisons and free every criminal locked up there. It was not their fault that they chose to be criminals, they were born that way. Since these people have rights to be who they want to be, I guess I also reserve the right to my belief and views.

In conclusion if you want to be gay, it’s good for you but since I am homophobic I’ll also exercise my right not to associate with you beyond a certain limits. My views are not infallible but it’s in alliance with my personal ideals. But I also strongly disapprove of those who rape lesbians with the hope of changing them. It’s a barbaric act which reduces such perpetrators to the level of animals. God give us righteous leaders that a time like these demand, who would make laws that is Godly. Cheers.

N.B: Genesis 19:4-29, Leviticus 20:13 and Leviticus 18:22, Romans 1:26-27, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, 1 Timothy 1:10, and Jude 7

Together, we can achieve more. Cheers

For the love of music

2009-05-15T07:33:00.000-07:00

I love music and this is evidenced in the fact that every where I go I can’t help but sing (even though the voice sounds horrible). But to my surprise, even though I have lived in this country for about 3 years now, I am not sure that I can sing any of the local song. Well I can hum some of the Joyous celebration tracks but that’s just about how far I can go. So could this just be an oversight or an outright lack of desire to fully blend with the culture of the people of this country?

Believe me; even though I am passionately Nigerian, I still pride myself as a knowledgeable citizen of this country. After all, we are all South Africans. But ask me to list the names of local South African artists and I am sure by the time I mention, Ntando, Mafikizolo, KB, Malaika, Bricks, HHP, Zola, Rebecca Malope, Deborah Fraser (who is married to a Nigerian), Hugh Masekela, Benjamin Dube, I would have run out of names. That’s not even to say that I know any of their songs. Could this be regarded as a lack of interest in the way of life of these people or just a reaction to the lack of comprehension of their languages?

I think that sometimes, as foreigners in a country like this one, we are not usually willing to change our ways to imbibe some of the culture of our host country. Most of us can list a thousand and one things we think is wrong in their culture; intolerance towards foreigners, drunkenness, lack of respect for parents, crime, homosexuality, lack of passion for spiritual things, sexual promiscuity, to mention but a few. But I am almost very sure that a Zulu man would be more tolerant and friendly with a Nigerian who speaks isiZulu than with another who doesn’t. It might not be fluent; sometimes it’s just the thought or the attempt that counts.

I am amazed to find Nigerians who come to South Africa and they always want to eat eba or semo every time. I remember a friend of mine who boasted of never having tasted pap. But he doesn’t mind tasting their women. I know that eating the intestine of chicken or chicken feet is not necessarily our idea of food, but I am sure that even if it’s just the morogo or saamp, we should be able to try. Intolerance for other people usually stem from a lack of understanding of their culture and ways of life.

Lets make an effort to identify with the country in which we live, because as the bible says, when the country prospers then we will also flourish in prosperity. Now I am not suggesting that we pick up negative aspects of their ways. If the kwaito music is too dirty for you, you can do the gospel as I intend to do. And by the way, until I attended a Freshly ground concert, I used to think that the band was a British band, just like most South Africans think Asa is not Nigerian. I have also decided to start learning some of their languages. As for the food, you are welcome to drop in by my place to share some of my pap ‘n’ vleis.

Cheers।

Together, we can achieve more. Cheers

The dancing fountain

2009-05-13T08:11:00.000-07:00

It’s been a while since I last blogged even though I had promised to keep this site busy. This is not unconnected to a combination of things that has been taking place in my life in the past few months. From the frustrations of having to wait for almost 6 months for my work permit to be approved (even though they say that it takes them between 30 to 45 days), to trying to come to terms with the fact that what I love and desire might not necessarily be what God wants me to have. So in the middle of all my turbulent and dramatic existence I turned to a very special person, who told me to blog away my pain and frustrations. So here I am back in blogville.

I saw a local comedy at the cinema 2 weeks ago called White wedding. It was so nice I decided to see it again last night because I thought yesterday was half price. The content of the movie would also make for good blogging but maybe some other time. When I discovered that the price was not discounted on Tuesdays, I decided to change plans. So I decided to just take a sit by the dancing fountain in the mall while the fountain entertained me without having to pay anything. While I was there two things kept coming to mind.

The first was the fact that as humans we tend to worry over the many things that are not working in our lives while taking for granted the beauty of nature and the very many blessings that God bring into our lives. Even those who have no money and investment just want to worry themselves about the global economic melt down. I think most of us have turned to professional worriers. It would surprise you to know that most of the things we actually worry about never actually materialize. No one has been known to worry so much and suddenly the rent was paid. I read something somewhere that said, “Today id the tomorrow that you were worried about yesterday”.

The second thing that came to the mind was the limitless creativity that God has given us as humans. The dancing water fountain was so beautiful that I just could not help but break into laughter every once in a while. A smile a day they say keeps the doctor away, so I hope the guys close by didn’t think that I was going crazy. But any way, I was amazed at the creativity and ingenuity that went into creating such a beautiful structure. The ability to make water dance in a synchronized manner with music and varying colours of light, while also changing patterns. I was so sure that if someone had come from the past (maybe 1850) back to life, he would have been so shocked at some of the things we have created. It only goes to show that there is so much that is inside of us that the world is waiting to be created or invented. We need to tune in to that creative gift that God has given us as individuals.

People should see the work of our hands and begin to praise God for His awesome nature, simply because it is in unity with the beauty of His creations. It could be a song, a book, an architectural design, software or just the different way in which we render or use our talents to bless humanity. Unfortunately they say the best place to find the best inventions and ideas is the grave. So are we going to rob the world of the greatness that God has hidden in our earthen vessels? Let’s make a decision today to be the best that we can in all that we do. Let us all make a decision to be diligent in the use of our time, intelligence, abilities, beauty and all latent gift we have. Diligence stands us out before kings. And by kings I mean people who would appreciate us so much more they remunerate us for the benefits our gifts create.

Even though the world can be a cruel place sometimes, it’s still the only beautiful world that we have, so take some time out to enjoy it. Smile just because you want to, you need not give anyone an explanation. But anytime you find yourself admiring that beautiful car or that architectural master piece, ask yourself what would the world remember me by?

Cheers.

Happiness on Hold

2009-03-10T06:37:00.000-07:00

We convince ourselves that life will be better

after we get married, have a baby, then another.

Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't oldenough.

We'll be more content when they are.

After that, we're frustrated that we have

teenagers to deal with.

We will certainly be happy when

they are out of " that stage ".

We tell ourselves that our life will

be complete when our spouse gets his

or her act together. When we get a nicer car,

when we are able to go on a nice vacation,

or when we retire.

The truth is, there's no better time

to be happy than right now.

If not now, when?

Your life will “always " be filled

with challenges.

It's best to admit this to yourself and decide

to be happy anyway. Happiness is the way.

So, treasure “every " moment!

Treasure it more because you

shared it with someone special.

Special enough to spend

your time with...

Remember that time waits for no one.

So, stop waiting....

--until your car or home is paid off

--until you get a new car or home

--until your kids leave the house

-- --until you lose 10 lbs.

--until you gain 10 lbs.

--until you get married

--until you get a divorce

--until you have kids

--until you retire

--until summer

--until spring

--until winter

--until fall

--until you die

There is no better time than " right now" to be happy.

Happiness is a journey,

not a destination!!!

So-work like you don't " need " money,

Love like you've never been hurt,

And dance like no one's watching.

The day the world stood still for Obama.

2009-01-26T02:53:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a date with history. Barack Obama, a black man whose father was from Kenya, became the 44th president of the United States of America. What was just a dream in the mind of Dr Martin Luther King, has now become a reality simply because one man had the audacity to hope. With raft attention millions (if not billions) gathered around their TV sets and in cinemas to witness this epoch making moment. A moment when, not the descendant of a slave, but the son of an intellectual migrant became the most powerful leader of the free world.

I sat with my friends in my apartment glued to CNN as I could not afford to pay R1000 to attend the inauguration party at Monte Casino. As the oath was administered, I held my breath saying a little prayer to forestall any JFK occurrences. Behind every successful man, they say is a woman. In Obama’s case, Michelle was not behind but rather by his side. I couldn’t help but shed a bit of tears as he said “So help me God”. In years to come, He really would need God to give him guidance and wisdom. Then for 18 minutes we listened to this great orator speak from his heart without looking at any manuscript. As he spoke you could feel hope rise in you regardless of your nationality. I would not attempt to analyze the salient point in his profound speech but rather identify with the new vista this child of African has opened for all young people of the world regardless of race.

If you can dream it, then you can achieve it, used to sound like a cliché until Obama became president. As an African, I believe we need to stop complaining about bad leadership and start taking positive actions to liberate our continent from the grip of poverty, stagnation and bad leadership. As young people we must be ready to confront all the evil forces that stand against positive change in our countries. Africa can not continue doing things the same way, yet expect by some twist of faith, a different result. If that happens, it’s called a fluke.

Now I feel like I would be ready to become a senator of the Federal Republic of Nigeria some few years down the line. If Obama can, then why not me? Why not you? That’s the hope I’m talking about. Because of him we can all dare to hope even when the future looks very bleak for most of us. Where do we start from? Is it from degenerated educational standards, lack of infrastructure or the squanderers we call leaders? We will start small and grow very fast and our time will come too just before we know it.

At a time like this, a wise saying resonates in my heart.

God give us men a time like this demand
Strong men great heart, through faith and ready hands
Men who the lust of office can not kill
Men who the lust of office can not buy
Men who have honour, Men who won’t lie
Men who can stand before a demagogue
And damn his treacherous flatteries without winking.
Tall men, strong heart,
Who live above the fog, in public duties and in private thinking

Obama, you are the man of the moment and Africa, your fatherland celebrates and salutes your courage. So help you God. Cheers

21st Jan. 2009

My year of greater glory

2009-01-13T01:28:00.000-08:00

It’s the beginning of a new year. The year 2009, or two thousand and shine as we now call it. I strongly believe that this year would be a year of greater glory as prophesied by Pastor Jimmy. 2008 has come and gone. With it went many unfulfilled dreams and expectations. There is a great tendency for one to be unthankful to God for His many blessings.

I for one would confess that I had my own set backs last year. I made two attempts at having a relationship that was not transient in nature, but failed. I gave my all but it turned out I was putting my ladder on the wrong walls. Initially I was bitter, sad and probably a bit a self destructive. I eventually came to a realization that it was not really my fault or these women’s fault; rather it was God’s gentle hand rocking us away from future miseries and unhappiness. We look at the outward beauty but God looks at the heart. I’m still working at it, hoping that I would have reasons to glorify Him at the end of the year.

Yet my life is more than just about relationship. There is my walk with God, my relationship with my family and friends, not forgetting my career. In some of these areas, like a child learning to walk, I sometimes faltered and got myself back on my feet. It was not by my power but by His spirit. I started with hopes of getting a job, eventually got and before the end of the year I already have a signed offer of employment with a choice consulting firm. I should start next month with Hatch Africa. I still have a couple of associations with some friends who are not heading in the same direction as me. I believe that is an area that I would have to work on this New Year.

As I said last year, I do not subscribe any longer to writing a New Year resolution. But rather I am updating my life master plan. This involves identifying certain key areas of my life that I would love to see improvements. I have set for myself certain key objectives in those areas that I would love to achieve so as to move me closer to my life’s vision. After doing that, I now highlighted the series of activities I need to do (or not do) to achieve the set objectives. Then follows the most import part of the whole master plan….Take Action. With God by my side, this I would do.

I can not end this blog without mentioning one sad event that happened last year that’s shook me a bit. My mentor at work, a sweet old gentle brilliant man, Willem Vorster, committed suicide. By far one of the most brilliant minds in the railway industry, he was very passionate about railway engineering. He exposed my mind to many fresh ideas and spent his last days chatting with me about his childhood. Little did I know that those were our last days together. He was never married and had no child. He died at 67. What I learnt from the experience is that in life, all our achievements become meaningless when we have no one to share it with. God rest his gentle soul.

I thank God for all His blessings from 2008. This is a year of possibilities even though there would be so many things that would shake people’s believe. There is the economic problem all around us, but for those who are of God, we would be for signs and wonders. Light can only shine brighter, when there is gross darkness. Arise and shine brethren. Cheers.

A time to relax

2008-10-08T07:08:00.000-07:00

Gradually life is returning back to normal. This is fast becoming a trend. You meet someone special and decide to go for her and with reckless abandon you commit yourself to what I have come to term as “perhaps this could be her” relationship. The rest of the story you all know. We only get hurt emotionally by those who we love either out of our own volition or by a twist of fate.

But anyway, like I once said the choice of either being happy or gloomy lies in the decisions we make. I rather chose to use such situations as a launching pad to my relational greatness. And just like Thomas Edison who failed at his light bulb experiment 999 times and his only motivation to continue was his believe that he now knew 999 ways of how not to make a bulb. So may be I also can say now that I also know one more type of woman a man like me should not be in a relationship with. I will not go into details as that might paint me as being a bitter loser crying over someone he can not have in his life.

So I decided that if with all the attributes that I have (not to blow my own trumpet) a woman does not consider me valuable enough to want to stay with me, then it was never meant to be in the first place. There are too many beautiful daughters of Zion that God has prepared for His sons. When I got invited by my WOW friends to come along for a Saturday get away to Hennopsriver, I jumped at the opportunity. That’s despite the fact that I had a swell time the previous weekend entertaining (more like getting them drunk) my friends to a birthday brai.

This little group of ours is fast turning into a little united nations of some sort. New guys joined us on this trip. We had the regulars – Busani (Zimbabwe), Susan Arthur (the local girl), Susan Mwangi (Kenya), Adam (DRC), Valentin (Bulgaria) and myself (the passionate Naija boy). We also had Adesuwa (Nigeria), Caitlin (USA), Samburu (Kenya) joining us for the first time. There was a guy from south Africa (can not remember his name, even though we spent quite some time chatting about martial art) who came with a lady friend from Peru. Of course there was Nermine, the beautiful Egyptian. (As I write I stand divorced by Busani).

It was nice to have a feeling of family in Jozy. Sometimes in life, the important things in life are not expensive. Guys lets do this more often. I am thinking of flying over Johannesburg in a hot balloon from Magalisburg. It promises to be fun. Cheers.

My Angel

2008-10-07T01:52:00.000-07:00

This is what happens when a thoughtless engineer falls in love and then pretends to be a poet.

My Angel

The night was cold
As I sat in the privacy of my room
There was really nothing to inspire my thoughts
Except your picture that’s embedded in my heart
Sitting in my favorite spot by the window
Starring into oblivion I pondered my fate
Could this be luck
Or is it just my destiny
All I did was follow my heart
And I stepped into a new world; a world of lifelong discovery
Even though I had waited for long
It was worth every bit of it
And there you stood
Like the most beautiful Christmas gift ever
You were just as I had imagined
I was speechless to my own amazement
Even though I knew **** was your name
All I heard in my head was, angel
Though God created so many beautiful women
You are in a class, by yourself
You only compare with one woman
The woman in my dreams
My fair angel
When you spoke, your voice was so seraphic
At a pitch that makes my heart leap for joy
Stirring into your almond shaped eyes
There I saw humility and compassion
Tenderness and passion
Wisdom and kindness
A desire for the creator
The attributes of a virtuous woman
And when you smiled
You brought so much excitement
To my otherwise ordinary life
Deep within my soul, I knew it
That I had found happiness
My happy-ever after ending story
I knew I had found the one destined for me
I found my soul mate
The woman of my dream
My fair angel.

Cheers.

Memoirs of a seeker

2008-08-26T03:33:00.000-07:00

You feel disappointed and desperately wish this really wasn’t happening to you. A few moments ago you were the happiest man in the world, everything was moving according to order and you have that feeling that this really must the hand of God steering the affairs of your life. You were just staring into those beautiful eyes with so much expectation of your future together. Watching her sleep you could sense the serenity of her soul and feel the humanity of her spirit. But at the back of your spirit this deep seethed fear keeps trying to permeate your essence. That fear that you feel when you are very happy and you become scared that something might just cut short your happiness. And then, bang, your fear is made manifest.

The pain was sharp, gripping you in places you have not been trained to receive pain. You become so blank and there seem to be no way out of this abyss in which you are speedily sinking into. Questions are formed in your mind, with no answers in sight. Not even the blurring effect of the excessive alcohol consumption was strong enough to take away this hurt. Slowly anger and bitterness starts to form in your heart. Anger directed at you, for allowing yourself subject yourself to such a wasteful venture called love. Bitterness at the specie of humans called female who you perceive as being overtly confused, scheming yet wearing a mask of innocence. At the extreme you begin to contemplate if you have the energy to go through this cycle of hurt once again. Maybe you should just give up? Never knew something mutual and indicative of your feeling can be so misconstrued and emotionally terminal.

Looking unto men and you find no comfort. Their empathy was not even enough to hide their mockery of your predicament. And then suddenly, you hear a voice call unto you, be still. It was like the voice of the Shepard calling unto his lost sheep. Slowly the thoughts of God begin to replace the thoughts of your hurt. His gift of faith is dropped in your heart like a tiny seed and like tiny little pollens in the wind; it is dispersed all over your being. His promises begin to make more meaningful sense to you. You realize that He can never leave you or forsake you, his words can not return to Him except they fulfill the purpose for which they were spoken. You begin to realize that your steps are ordered by Him not because you deserve it, but rather because of His mercy. Even though the righteous might be afflicted many times, but He definitely will deliver them from them all. No matter how many times you fall, you will rise again regardless of the expectation of your hecklers.

Then all of a sudden your joy is restored and happiness turns your heart into its playground. Peace comes upon your spirit because you know that what is meant to be in your life would definitely not leave. If you love anything you learn to give it freedom and if it comes back to you, then you know that it’s yours for keeps. It’s a very thin line between giving people the freedom and space they desire and quitting on what you perceive to be a storm in your relationship. But I will live each day as it comes without any form of bitterness, anger or regret. We are nothing but pencils in the hands of the creator.

The heights that great men reached and kept were not attained by a sudden flight. I intend to continue with the real men series as planned. Cheers

How real is the man in you..........

2008-08-15T08:30:00.000-07:00

The pen they say is mightier than the sword, just as the strength of a man can not be determined by the size of his muscles. This is an ironic sentence to start with, considering the fact that I have been called so many muscle inclined nick names almost all of my life. Some were nice while some I would not repeat on this page for fear of some people reopening my Pandora box of nicknames. For a very long time I had my own battle on the inside of me, and the war was between the macho me (fueled by people’s expectations of me) and the intellectual gentle man that’s always yearning for superior expression.

I hated the fact that people respected me (as a younger person obviously) because of some built that I had before they even came close to me. It was not bad to have a body that others wished for but were not ready to endure pain for, but it was frustrating that people tend to put you in a mould. This has always made me ponder, “Who is a real man?” So I decided to share my thoughts of my opinion about what I consider to be the attributes of a real man. This is not an exclusive list of the qualities of a real man, but rather a few of those I believe I can connect with.

A real man is a provider
A real man is a covering over his family (protection)
A real man is promoter
A real man is a praying man (priest)
A real man is a prophet (over his family)
A real man is teacher

My plan over the next few weeks is to be able to expatiate further on each of these attributes. And just like I said, I am not going to pretend to be an embodiment of knowledge on the issue at hand but rather a student of life. And this journey of life is like a dance, and in this dance of life, there are really no mistakes, as every perception of mistake is just the beginning of another step. It’s a Friday and I plan to enjoy it by spending quality time with her. Don’t ask questions you would not get answers to. Cheers

Conversation with the coach....

2008-08-08T03:57:00.000-07:00

Yes to that all important mail. I have little or no objection to the things you said in your last mail. I strongly believe that just like the bible says, "can two work together except they agree?” A relationship is about two people who have different backgrounds, upbringing, views, expectations and sometimes aspirations. Some of these things affect how you relate with one another in a relationship. The particular person in question has Nigerian origin and I guess that is misleading as there is tendency on my side to want to expect certain “Nigerian” attributes. But the reality is that she did not grow up in Nigeria and maybe the only thing that’s Nigerian about her is her name (beautiful name) and passport. But that does not make her less of a believer.

Since we started this session, I have had an opportunity to speak to her concerning the grey areas and my feelings concerning us. I think now I have a better understanding of where she is coming from and how she ticks. And she did make lots of sense and maybe that’s why I am attracted to her (something deep inside) in the first place. The bible says, man know thy self. It is also believed that you can not keep doing things the same way (if it is the wrong way) and yet expect a different result, if it works out for you, then its called divine intervention or fluke.

Anyway, she said she does not want to rush into a relationship and then some few months down the line, rush out of it. That would be based on her past experience with men. (Maybe I am paying the price of the wrong doings of some men) So she decided she is going to wait on God for an answer. Which brings me to the next question; to what extent do we expect God to make decisions concerning our choice of a mate? Do we expect a voice from up above to say to us, “behold that man that walketh pass, he is your husband”?

I expressed my concern about the waiting period and she said that I am not obliged to wait for her if I think it’s not convenient for me, but I sensed from the tone of her voice that she really would love for me to wait for her. I sensed that she is just trying very hard, in a world that is filled with so many people doing all sorts of things, to do the right thing. And maybe just like that Sunny Ade and Onyeka’s song, if you love me, you will wait for me. Sometimes I could feel her frustration, just like mine. Maybe the problem that I had initially was the fact that I had to wait on a woman that I was not so sure if she shares my sentiments or understands my feelings. Now I know better, I feel her care for me. She knows that I do not intend to wait forever on her but I am also willing to be a bit patient with her (a lot actually). I guess just like gluing together materials; the best bonds are formed over a period of time.

I think there is a very thin line between someone not accepting you as you are and someone trying to correct (chastise) you to walk better with God. I have come to realize that most of the time when I felt she was not accepting me the way I was, it was actually her own quiet way of trying get me to see things the way God wants me to see them. Now I appreciate the courage she has to speak concerning those issues. There were times when she was wrong about me, she humbly apologized and thanked me for bringing it to her attention.

Maybe another problem we have is our willingness to invite the Holy Spirit into our lives to guide us but in actual sense we want to be the one to direct the spirit of God. God wants to give us a blessing, but we want to be the one to specify the type, packaging, delivery date of the gift. When we ask God for food, he gives us a plantation to sow and harvest in, you ask him for a wife and He gives you a girl with lots of short comings and fears of the unknown, you ask for a husband and he gives you an uncouth man armed only with a vision and lots of boyish tendencies. So you see, even though we want perfect, perfection is of God alone and the more we walk with Him, the greater our chances of being like Him. The bible, says “two is better than one”. So together with God, a lot can be achieved. Fears can be allayed, the girl can become a virtuous woman and the boy, become a man of destiny. My new found confidence comes from the understanding of His promise; God’s gifts (and blessings) are without repentance.

Thanks, waiting for part III. Cheers

When I remember Mayflower.......

2008-07-29T23:42:00.000-07:00

Old friends are better than new ones, God guide you, God be with you, may we meet again in happiness, farewell to you my friend. With this song we departed so many years ago. It was the end of high school. After spending 6 years in Mayflower School Ikenne, it was time for us to move on to greater things in life (or at least so most of us wished). In the darkness of the Schmid Hall, I could not help but shed a few drops of tears for my friends. Those I have shared every single day living in the hostel we called the student second home. Together we learnt, together we broke the laws just for the adventure of doing something out of the ordinary. Together we believed in God and together we also abandoned Him for an ideal we knew nothing about.

In the past few days I have been thinking about people I once called friends and how far we have strayed away from each other. Like seeds, we have all been blown away into diverse corners of the world. The tears I shed back then was because of a realization that I was seeing some of them for the last time in my life. And indeed that was the last time I saw a lot of them. With fondness I remember all my Mayflower homeboys and babes (the hip hop renaissance). My thought in this blog is for my friends, who shared a part of my life for a season.

I remember Olalekan Owodunni, my very first friend in Mayflower; he taught me how to talk without knowing it. His inquisitive nature is a precursor to the doctorate he now holds in aeronautical engineering. Femi Oshiga (my Dough for life)and Bunmi Sobodu; members of the 3 musketeers. We spent a lot of time together not just as friends, but as members of the same family. Abayomi Sangosanya (Kogbo), my hommie from B4 down. We spent many nights jisting (You are a carbon copy of your dad). Can I forget Yinka Oke, the best goal keeper Naija never had. He was so good we called him “okere” (the squirrel). I probably might never have become the warrior I became without the influence of my ninja clans – Omolade Akingbade, Victor Nwosu and Mohammed Olayori (and by the way I remember the night adventure to Ikenne on Ereke day. Ninjas don’t get caught).

I was initially called tuber, no thanks to Ahmed Otun and Sukanmi Odubiyi, until I became known as Macho. Where would I have been without my gym partner Wale Banjoko and sir “K”? I remember my very first crush and please don’t criticize me because she was my friend’s sister- Shakira Olayori (men that girl was fine and was I shy). Tope Amusa don’t be angry, you were the first real girlfriend I had back then (if we could call it that). There was the very desirable Body ripples- Bunmi Alabi (God rest your soul), who wore a smile that made most guys feel vulnerable (I can hear people saying, speak for yourself). And by her side, you would always find her able ally, Yetunde Anjou. Can I forget the Babatunde twins (Taiwo and Kehinde) or my very close confidantes Tosin Adjanor and Seyi?

And the names keep coming to me and I am wondering how I have been able to live without these guys. Funke Olayemi, Doyin Fagbemi, Kolade Okunubi, Gbenga Bankole (always with a novel, wondered how he passed), Jide Keating, Ib Motajo, Leke Ogunfowora, Ahmed Kadri (the first person I fought in Mayflower), Ayo Aruna, Mojeed Ajose, Dotun Betiku (Honey B), Akeem Ajelero, Wasiu Akingbeyin, Sunday Oyefeso, Lekan Genty, Obasanya Omotayo, the 2 boilings (Adepoju & Ifonlaja), Bolatito Balogun, Ebai Tabot, Chamberlain Murako (my spike partner), Bimbo Otelaja, Grace Adewale (can I forget you?), Toyin Abiola, Busola Adebayo (our sprint queen), Abina Adebisi, Sunkanmi Idowu, Tayo Odulana, Bukonla Reffell, Boye Falana (iron bender), Leke Adewole, Tokunbo Taiwo, Tope Taiwo, Ayodele Fela Thomas, Adeola Momson (igi iwe). Just to mention but a few (I am very sure I would remember some more names after posting this).

I usually do not like to blog this long, but I just thought I should take time out to remember those who walked by my side some years ago and who helped to shape me into the man that God has called me to be. I might not see you guys everyday, but I celebrate the friendship we shared and I hope and pray that God will bring good friends (and partners) into your lifes that would help transform you into who He has destined you to be. I do not pray for your roads to be rough, but rather I pray that if the road becomes rough (as Uncle Tai taught us), that God will grant you wisdom and resilience to pass through your dark nights of soul. And for those who are no longer with us, I take solace in some thing our great father, Uncle Tai Solarin taught us, “ we measure life by loss and not by gain, not by the wine drunk, but by the wine poured forth”. Your memories linger in our hearts. Cheers.

An ode to Puleng Mphahlele

2008-07-25T02:45:00.000-07:00

It’s been a while since I last blogged. It is very easy for me to lie and put the blame on very tedious schedule at work. But I would rather be more honorable by accepting that it had to do with the issues of the heart. It is amazing how much influence we allow people to have over our lives, simply because we care about them. But I still maintain that being in love is a wonderful thing but it is more exhilarating when the person involved is right for you. Enough of my explanations and excuses for not blogging, as they say that excuses are the tools of the incompetent, monuments of nothingness; those who use them are not wise.

It was with a rude shock that I received the loss of a very good friend; Puleng Mphahlele. We were friends for about a year plus but we did not get close until about a few months ago. She was a very wonderful person who had a quiet passion for life. She died in a car crash some few weeks ago and it was not until 2 days ago that I discovered. To my own surprise I cried. Well to some people that might not be strange (and I don’t think that men should be immune to crying) but the strange thing was the fact that I cried for someone I met just once and we remained email buddies. The last time I spoke with her, which was like some few days before her death, she was sharing her aspirations and the fact that things were not moving as fast as they should be. She spoke about her siblings and even though she was the tough talking sister, she had so much love for them. In all that I sensed a woman who had a future but unfortunately it was cut short.

After I managed to console myself (after a series of sms from someone special), I wondered why I cried. Then it dawned on me that my tears were from a sense of failure to influence the life of someone close (by praying and standing in gap for them) before it was too late. When people come into our lives, it usually does not happen by chance. The bible says that we are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid. (Matt. 5: 13-15) When people see the light of God in us, they are drawn to His light in us. But what do we do most of the time when we get this attention; we begin to bask in the euphoria of self adoration, forgetting that our purpose is to draw people to His glory.

And before we know it, we allow ourselves to be drawn away from His presence, thereby losing our connectivity. You then begin to wonder why the same set of friends who used to adore you, now just barely manage to tolerate you. Without his light in our lives, we are not different. When the salt loses his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? It is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men. I have been guilty just like so many believers. I now, more than ever, have a sense of responsibility for those that God brings me in contact with. Most of the time, we are the only bible some people will ever read. We need to use all that God has placed in us to encourage and bless the lives of others. It could be an advice, a smile, a listening ear, an invitation to church or just sharing a meal while creating a sense of hope for the future.

Puleng, God rest your soul. I wish we had spent more time together. I pray that the Almighty will comfort your family. If there is any lesson that I have learnt in all these, it would be “ never take your friends for granted”. Cheers.

Happy people

2008-03-26T06:23:00.000-07:00

I remember watching the film by Will Smith, in pursuit of happiness. It was about a broke and struggling black salesman, who was struggling to make a living in what Robert Kiyosaki calls the rat race. He was broke financially, but not in spirit. In his pursuit for a better life and happiness, he went through a life of initial struggle and rejection from his own wife but at the end he found happiness, even though it is not a destination. There were certain things that I observed about this man which I believe can help shape our quest for happiness and fulfillment.

Even though he wanted a better life for himself, it was predominantly because of his son that he kept toiling upwards. This tells me that in our pusuit for happiness, it is all about trying to give of ourselves to people who matter to us and sometimes those that
Life has entrusted in our care. That is when we stumble on favour and discover happiness. Watching the guy’s interview on Oprah’s show, it was obvious that the real happiness he was looking for was only discovered after he started giving back to people who were less privileged. When we are searching for happiness maybe we need to stop looking at what we really want, but rather to start asking ourselves, how can give endlessly of our time and resources to our generation.

Happiness is not a destination that we aim to get to and then that’s it. It’s actually a journey of a life time. That explains why you were on top of the world yesterday and today it seems as if the world is sitting right on top of you. There is usually an amount of joy that we feel when we achieve certain milestones in our lives. It could be getting a new job, buying a new car, or your first house. For me, of recent, it was falling in love. At that moment it is almost as if the whole world decided to stand still to acknowledge the fact that you are God’s own special creation. The least you then expect is the Alice in wonderland happy ever after ending story. But what do you then do when the same thing that brought you joy, turns around to add a tint of sorrow. You thought the feelings were mutual but it turned out to be that she is not so sure about her feelings for you. Now you sit in limbo, waiting for her to make your joy complete. But in pursuit of your happiness, you can not afford to tie your joy to someone else, especially if they are not yet sure about what they want. Sorrow may endure for a season, but joy comes to those who believe and strive towards it.

In search for happiness you can not afford to wear an expression that says I am desperately searching. You can only get what you give to life. If you want to be happy, bring happiness into the lives of others. Seed time and harvest will never cease. Sow seeds of happiness into the lives of others and you will reap abundantly. If you are unappreciative of what the Almighty has done in your life, sit back and think a bit.
Your situation might not be the best, but remember, “It could have been worse”. It could have been you lying down at the hospital hoping against hope that someone will donate an organ to keep you alive. You could have been that guy who died at a very tender age in the car that was supposed to be his dream car but turned out to be his grave yard. Happiness delayed, does not have to be happiness denied

With all its shambles and broken dreams, it is still a very beautiful world. Be happy. It’s your right. Cheers.

Forgiving and Forgetting

2008-03-25T23:21:00.000-07:00

To forgive actually means to let go. When you forgive you are actually letting go of the bitter feelings that may weigh you down but when you don’t, you not only make yourself uncomfortable by brooding over these bitter feelings you also cause your adrenaline to rise unnecessarily. The beauty of it all is that when you forgive you are actually telling yourself that you’re ready to move on. This is the best way to position your self for growth and success...Funso Adebayo

Discovering Yourself and Overcoming Complex

2008-03-25T23:19:00.000-07:00

People’s perceptions of you are not necessarily the correct definition of your personality. The fact that you do not well in a particular thing does not mean that you are good for nothing. Every individual is full of potentials that simply need to be discovered and developed. Locate your gifts, potentials and strengths, make best use of them. Build up your courage and confidence level, have an “I can do” mentality. Above all, believe in your self .

A time well spent...WOW again

2008-03-06T03:34:00.000-08:00

When Susan Arthur sent me an sms, indicating that there was going to be a world of works graduates’ picnic, I really did not know what to expect. I must confess that I was one of the guys who felt that time spent just sitting down to discuss nothing too serious was a waste of my time. Anyway,I had a change of heart and thought it would be nice to spend some time with friends that I enjoyed the world of work with. (That’s in line with my personal strategic plan: To develop and cultivate friendship with people who are upwardly mobile like me)

I did not know where Walter Sisulu botanical garden was, so when Susan offered to give me a ride I was very happy. It is amazing how something so beautiful and exotic can be close to you, yet very far from you. The botanical garden was so stunning, I wish the other guys would disappear and I would find myself alone with my girlfriend. At least Susan played the role for some time before the other guys came :-)

I spent a wonderful day with Adam Mukendi, Cyril, Busani and their friends (the guys from DRC are a wonderful company). I haven’t laughed like I did on Sunday in a very long time. It was fun to let go of all the stress of Jozzy and enjoy the beautiful scenery of the garden, the towering presence of the rock and the stunning waterfall that rounded our evening up. Some people never change. That’s all I would say about Adam. But that’s a good thing; we just could not stop laughing. I just wandered why he did not invite Wanjiku….. The fun would have been complete.

I hope more of you guys would turn up for the next outing we have. Look forward to seeing Bruce, Maxwell, Themba, Valentin, Beauty, Mbuso, Thomas and Susan Mwangi Thank God there was no Eve in the garden to tempt Adam. Cheers guys

New year resolution

2008-02-26T07:28:00.000-08:00

It’s amazing the speed at which time flies. I mean, we just started the year and we are already at the end of February. The reality is that we have already exhausted one sixth of this year and one would never have the opportunity to go back in time. What’s done is done and you might have the chance to make amends, but what was not done then, can not be done "then" again.

I was tired of making New Year resolutions that I don't get to keep beyond say March (I am sure I am not alone in this).That is not to make excuses for my lack of ability to stick to something some might consider simple. The long list would include zero tolerance for alcohol, no night crawling, avoiding certain friends & activities that waste my time, developing a stronger relationship with God, to mention a few. Usually when you make these commitments, you can feel fire in your bones; yes I know I can do this. But as time goes on our enthusiasm becomes dampened.

I have been able to identify about three reasons why we usually don't follow up on our resolutions. The first is rather obvious, we don't write them down. The faintest pen retains more than the best brains. Secondly we set unrealistic and sometimes vague goals for ourselves. It is more realistic if I say to myself - this year I will cut down on my night crawling than for me to say I will stop it (my mum will be so happy to hear that this nocturnal man is changing for good). Thirdly, we take resolutions as a once off thing. By that I mean, it has become some decision we make in January. So if you fail in March, then you wait till next January.

So I decided this year I will not have a New Year resolution! Rather, I developed a personal strategic plan. All thanks to Prof. Brailey, my lecturer in Principles of Management at Wits. What I asked myself was this: What do I need to change or enhance in my life that would develop me into a better person. I identified certain key areas of my life; career, family, relationship, personal development, spiritual, financial, e.t.c. I then defined my expectations in those areas and went further to identify strategies that would be required to achieve these expectations (goals).But the trick here is this. It is a 5 year plan. This means if I falter in March, I still have April to come and not just one, but many Aprils and Januaries.

You probably want to know some of my Goals and strategies. Well, you’ll find out as time goes on. When you start seeing the new improved me. But you can be rest assured that there is a lot of loving and commitment in it……You did not hear that from me.

Cheers

Sorry for the break in transmission

2008-02-25T04:15:00.000-08:00

There are two types of money problems according to Robert Kiyosaki; the problem of not enough money and that of too much money. Like wise I would like to do a bit of Barracking (according to Hilary) by saying that in communication, there are two types of problems; nothing to say and too much to say. Just as I would rather have the latter money problem, I would say that I have the “too much” to say problem too.

Do I talk about my love life or my work life? Do I write about my desires for Africa or do I talk about the difficulties of a Naija man living in the beautiful but sometimes cold country called South Africa? And the list goes on and on. This has taken its toll on my blogging as it’s almost as if my site has no clear cut theme. It actually has but I think I just need to refocus, as many things have changed between the when I started blogging and now. When we were “commanded” to start blogging back then during the world of work programme, it was supposed to be a tool to impress would be employers. But it is my personal opinion that there is more to life than just work. All work and no play they say make Jack a dull boy *(or Bom boy).

So please bear with me for now if you find certain changes on my site, like they say on NTA, “it is to enable us serve you better”. Not to worry though it is nothing too eccentric. It’s going to be me, the way I see myself and hope people would see me. Relationship, love, leadership, God, happiness, family, governance, hard work, racism, name it. It would be all about my views and perceptions.

In the main time, I have to get back to work. To learn about rolling stock, signaling, braking force, 7Es, 17Es, TEUs, traction effort, shunting e.t.c. It’s all about the rail business for now.

Cheers guys!

Every day is an interview!

2008-02-15T03:23:00.000-08:00

I ordinarily would have kept quiet about this whole issue of starting work, but that really would have shown that i lack the ability to appreciate all the good lessons that was impacted in me during the World of Work program. Moreover it is also an opportunity to thank God for His mercies and favour. Yes i am a Nigerian and just as our former National Football Team Coach, Westerhof said; Nigerian believe so much in God.

One of the guys that gave us a presentation (i really can't remember who, thats bad.) said something that stuck in my head. He said everyday is an interview. I also remember all the (trick) we were taught to tackle the demon called inexperience and by extention, unemployment. Schmoozing, networking, no pay internship, follow up e.t.c And not also forgeting the element of luck (I call it God's favour).

Around december, a friend from Nigeria came to SA to shop around for a consulting firm to handle a BIG project and she invited me over to their hotel. She introduced me to her boss and i started schmoozing with him and he liked my views concerning certain national (Nigerian) issues. While we were talking, one of the directors of the consulting firm walked into the suite and i practically attacked him upon introduction.......Nigerian student studying for my masters degree, heard about your company and very interested in internship, blah blah.. That got me his business card and eventually a meeting. One thing led to the other and we agreed that they would give me an internship position. Went for the final meeting with them and they were contemplating a permanent position...

Well to cut my story short, i resumed and was offered a contract employment for a year as a mechanical engineer. I resumed 2 weeks ago and its been a wonderful experience so far. I have a lot to learn though, knowing fully welll that the World of Work is quite different from Wits. Anyway guys, i am sure you would not be seeing me this year at the World of Work programmes, except as a facilitaor (Maybe)........

Cheers guys

Blogg rededication

2008-02-11T02:11:00.000-08:00

I opened my blog site and discovered that i have not posted a blog since last year. even though right now i really don't have the time to blog, i decided to break the jinx by just opening my box. I also pledge to myself that i would be more active in the blog world.

Did i also mention that i am now in the world of work,......... Yes that is the suprise. more to come. Cheers

God give us worthy leaders

2007-10-25T02:50:00.000-07:00

On many occasions I have criticized the evil called Mugabe and his obvious lack of ideas on how to bring Zimbabwe out of this abyss that he has led the country into. In retrospect, I have come to realize that just criticizing him (Mugabe) would not solve the problem. We need to start proffering solutions to this continental disgrace. Some few years ago, while I was still back home in Nigeria, I made up my mind not to just sit back and join in criticizing the government. I would rather make my own suggestions or just keep quiet. Engineers are supposed to be problem solvers, I was taught back then in undergrads.

I can not claim to have a solution to the problems of Zimbabwe, as I know I would be speaking from an obscured point of view. But my Uncle Ayo, who lives in the US, once taught me to never use the words, “I don’t know, I can’t do it, or it is impossible” So in that vein, I would love to advice Mugabe to kindly leave office and without delay hand over to Gideon Gono as interim president of Zimbabwe. Why?

It seems to me that this is the only person that still has some level of guts to tell Mugabe his economic policies are messed up. I know very little about this man, but there is something about that man that tells me, he might be the way out for Zimbabwe. We pray for men like Gideon,” the mighty man of valor”, in a time like this in Africa. Men who can stand before a demagogue and damn his treacherous flattering without remorse. Strong men, with a strong heart, who live above the fog, in public duties and in private thinking.

Please lovers of freedom, we need your ideas, lets restore dignity back to the great country, Zimbabwe. Gono for President.

Cheers

The paradox of a job seeker.

2007-10-15T23:22:00.000-07:00

I just rounded up my GDE and just as you would expect, i have been sending out my CV to prospective employers. One thing i have come to discover since then is that you need to keep yourself motivated, as all you get out there are negative vibes. Its not possible, South Africans don't like foreigners, just to mention but a few.

But the ones that get to me most, are the demand for work permit and previous work experience. It reminds me of the paradox of the egg and the chicken, which one came first. Sent out a couple of applications and most of the agencies never acknowledged receiving my application and those who did kept asking me whether i had a work permit. My reply was as good as yours, i have a study permit and i believe that you need a letter of an offer of employment before the home affairs can consider your application for a work permit. But the employer wants to see your work permit before considering your application for a job. Hence the paradox of the work permit and the letter of employment.

The next issue is that of previous experience. In a country where skill shortage has become part of the political vocabulary, it is indeed frustrating for a young graduate searching for a job. It is almost as if being a fresh grauate is a crime. Almost all the adverts you see in the papers come with these long lists of requirements and then with these most fantastic words.....with x years of experience. People, where do you get these experiences from.....heaven. Please give the freshers a break. Do you need the experience before getting a job or do you need the job to get the experience? Hence the paradox of the work experience.

But just like i said earlier on, i would allow my motivation to come from somewhere deep within me. They say that the height that great men reached and kept were not attained by a sudden flight, but they, while their companions slept, kept toiling upwards through the night.I am toiling now, watch me climb. World of work here i come.

Cheers!

The Blyde River Canyon - Life is beautiful

2007-08-13T04:06:00.000-07:00

When you live in a cosmopolitan city like Johannesburg, there is a tendency for you to forget how beautiful life could be. Which is why it is good to find time to escape from the rat race we call living to remind ourselves of the beauty of nature.

I decided to go on a hike in Mpumalanga with some of the folks from church (God First) on Wednesday. The trail is called the Blyde River Canyon Trail. I used to believe that hiking was for white people who desire the adrenalin rush, until i signed up for this one. While driving along the winding roads, you could see the terrain change from the concrete structures of Jozy to the green and mountainous landscape of Mpumalanga. We had a brief stop at a place called God’s window and what a view it was.

We walked for three days through very rocky terrains which made me realise how much I had lost in terms of fitness. Most of the views were breath taking and made me pinch myself so many times to convince myself that I was still in S.A and not some American film. It also gave me an opportunity to think about my life and what I want to make of it. To say that I felt like I was in direct communication with the creative essence of God will be an understatement. It was almost as if the mountains and the valleys were created to testify to the awesomeness of God. We encountered at least three beautify water falls and when invited by my friends to jump from one of them, I politely declined. What a height!

There were so many lessons that I learnt; which I hope to share subsequently, but one stood out. I realised that as human beings we really under estimate our abilities. When we started the hike, climbing those mountains with my very heavy back pack was gruesome and I thought there was no way I would make it to the end without throwing away some of the stuff in it. But to my surprise I forgot about my aching shoulders and cramping thighs as the beauty of nature quietly sipped into my being. When we evetually got to the Blyde river canyon, it was so blissful and a beauty to behold. I felt so small standing next to the canyon.It is amazing how nature chose to hide its beauty from us in the midst of rocks and valleys. Or maybe we abandoned nature for our own idea of man made beauty.

Still getting over the hurting legs and shoulders, but I had a really swell time. I would recommend it for anyone who has got some time and would love to ginger up their other wise ordinary life. Cheers guys.

My views on Mr Mugabe

2007-07-19T02:20:00.000-07:00

I have listened so many times and watched with amazement how Mugabe has bastardized the country called Zimbabwe. What surprises me is the fact that the whole of Africa has decided to do nothing about it. Is this our way of showing support for one another – Ubuntu? I believe that it is criminal for Nigeria, South Africa to look on while people are being subjected to inhuman conditions. If people like Charles Taylor can be tried for crime against humanity, so must Mugabe if he lives to survive this crisis, but not only him, Obasanjo, Yar’ Adua, and Mbeki must also be tried. Their silence to me means support for the evil called Mugabe.

As I write people would go to bed without food tonight in Zimbabwe simply because of one man who has lost his sanity. Hardworking teachers would sell their bodies at bars simply because their salaries can buy nothing. Anytime I have the opportunity to speak with my Zim friends, they tell me that the case is hopeless and any attempt to criticise Mugabe would lead to my untimely death. I believe that if there is anything that you believe in, you must be willing to pay the ultimate sacrifice. Evil they say thrives when good people keep silent. For how long would the whole of Africa remain silent while Mugabe displays his obvious feat of psychosis? How would any sane man order people to sell goods at a price lower than they bought it?

Let us all say no to Mugabe and his cohorts. If you stand for nothing, you will fall for anything. I refuse to blame the western worlds and the UN, it is Africa's problem which nust be solved by Africans. Lets all protest in our countries against our leaders who silently display their support for Mugabe. Africans say NO ASINWIN Mugabe. Aluta Continua !!!

Cheers

Who is a real woman.

2007-06-18T05:15:00.000-07:00

I had a discussion with a beautiful and very intelligent lady from the WOW (name withheld to respect her privacy) and she blogged about it. she referred to my comments in her blog and this serves as my response to her blog. This does not change my feelings for you.......

It is quite obvious that when you believe in anything, you go all the way to prove your point. Sometimes that might be good, but at times, we don't always have to be the one that is right.
Concerning your issue, I believe women and men are not equals, but if you ask me who is stronger, or better, that I can not answer as everything could be very relative. Women can be emotionally stronger, but I do not believe generally they are physically stronger. Intellectually I would leave that to scientist to judge.

My point? It’s all about role plays. The society might have been unfair about the roles they ascribed to the different gender but I guess we all are the constituents of the society; our individual family units. All you need to do is find a man that accepts your view of what you believe his role should be and you would have begun the change. You can tell him that part of his duties include washing the baby's dippers, cooking for you, washing your clothes e.t.c. It’s an individual thing. Then you can encourage more women to look for such men and by the time your style of family becomes more popular or predominant, you would have succeeded in changing the world.

You also said and I quote “I maintain that it may have worked in the old days, but we’re in need of a more dynamic interpretation of culture (not to mention that there is no truth to the generalization that African culture was/is patriarchal)” I am glad that at least agreed that it might have worked in the past. The question then might be “when did it stop working and why did it stop working?” A woman can not be a man and the man can not be the woman. They are both unique and wonderfully made by God. Maybe women like you need to focus on their responsibility as mothers to their children by fulfilling their God given role of raising, teaching and nurturing them so that when they grow they would not depart from it.

To all women who love their men, nurture their families and know what God has called them to be, I salute your life of perpetual sacrifice. For those who are not sure they fall within that category, I encourage them to keep searching and someday you will find the answer.

Cheers.

N.B: Washing the baby's dippers, cooking for your wife, washing her clothes are not supposed to have derogatory meanings.

Exam in the air

2007-06-05T09:25:00.000-07:00

Fellow WOW bloggers, sorry that i have been absent from the blogging world, this is because i have been writing exams. i would be back after the exams and hopefully with a bang. Cheers.

May your road be rough

2007-05-07T08:28:00.000-07:00

May your roads be rough. When i say this, i do not wish to curse you, i am only wishing you what i wish myself everyday. With these immortal words of Dr Tai Solarin i would like to wish everyone of you the sucess that you all deserve, as you hopefully begin your sojourn into the REAL world of work. This is because great things that are achieved in life are only achieved by overcoming great obstacles. Hence the path to success is a not a smooth one.

We have all learnt so many things in the few weeks that we have spent together. We have grown in knowledge and wisdom of the world of work. And someone might ask, "how have we grown in wisdom when we actual haven't even tasted what the world out there feels like?" My response to that is that, just as Isaac Newton; the great scientist said, we have sat on the shoulders of those who have gone before us. We have learnt from very wonderful and experienced people. But at the end of the day, we still need to get out there and prove that we are worth the trust that Jean and Leslie have in us.

Let's not deceive ourselves, it is not easy out there, but at the same time, with the right attitude the sky is not even our limit but the begining of our success. If we take nothing away from the WOW programme, let us not forget that attitude is all that matters. So let me end by saying "may you have so many obstacles as you go out there, while God in His mercies would grant you all the strength and proper attitude to conquer them all".

Fellow world changers, see you at the top. Cheers

Democracy or crazy demonstration

2007-05-02T08:29:00.000-07:00

Let me start by using this medium to congratulate all Nigerians on the successful transition from one democratically elected government to another. To non Nigerians that might sound like no mean feat, but this actually goes on record as the first time in our history that this has happened. Before the advent of Obasanjo as president, we had only had one democratically elected president; Shehu Shagari. Successive military government looted the treasury of the nation and left the office either as billionaires or dying on top of an Indian virgin.

So there is cause for celebration. But the cause for celebration probably ends there as there were so many sharp practices during the election. A situation where the military were used to rig elections in favour of the ruling People’s Democratic Party, leaves a lot to be desired. As usual they had a land slide victory in almost all the states except for states like Lagos that fought them to a stand still, with Action Congress winning the governorship of the state. We also had cases where the result declared in favour of the PDP were much more than the total number of registered voters, I guess some ghosts decided to come participate in the election of a credible leader. To my surprise, even the out going president admitted that the elections had some problems, but they remain valid.

What can I say but to congratulate Alhaji Umaru Yar’Adua on his selection, sorry I meant election as president of the most populous black nation in the world. There is some light at the end of our national tunnel though, as Yar’Adua, being the president of Nigeria would actually be the first president to have graduated from a university. This is quite surprising when you consider the amount of intellectuals that Nigeria has produced. He was also credited as being the least corrupt Governor, when he was the Governor of Katsina state. I only hope that the allures of the huge oil wealth would not make him go the way of his predecessors. Nigeria happens to be one of the wealthiest nations in Africa but almost has nothing but corruption and impoverished citizens to show for her vast oil resources. Like many African countries, the bane of our country has been bad leadership, corruption and greed. This is wishing His Excellency all the best as he embarks on this journey of governance, hoping that I would be proved wrong in the next four years.

Lessons on team spirit

2007-04-25T23:46:00.000-07:00

So many things have been said about the team and the team spirit. We all say we are team players and sometimes you ask yourself, “what really is the team spirit and why do we need teams”? Someone in a good position to answer these questions was Brad Arden. Talking to us about team intelligence at work, he highlighted four challenges to team work as being challenges in the group, distance between team members, pressure and insecurity. He then showed us a film about Ivan, who discovered that his mother had cancer while he was at the Tour de France and how teamwork motivated him to win a stage of the race.

I learnt some lessons from this film. I learnt that when you are in need of help you should freely ask members of your team and also know that even though they might be trying to help you, something can still go wrong. You need to bounce back from that. You must also cultivate the ability to rise up from set back and if not for your sake, for the sake of the team don’t be a quitter. You should learn to have fun even in the midst of the hard work in the team and if you are the team leader, let your team feel your presence. Team members should support one another, making the problem of one a problem for all and learning to empathize with others in the team.

Another key lesson that is fundamental to the team spirit is team members bringing a core competency (talent, ability, skill) and the ability to discern when to gracefully leave the team because you have nothing to offer the team. Teams are inevitable, especially in the corporate world as most of the goals of an organization can only be achieved by working in teams. This enables you to harness diverse skills to achieve organizational goals. Organizational goals usually incorporates the individual goals of the team members, otherwise you have a misfit which brings about conflict. One final lesson I would take with me from this session with Brad is that team members should go beyond just being good team members to being good friends. Even though I knew what a team was before the session (having been in many teams), this has acted as a refresher course of some sort. Thanks Brad. Cheers.

Life Goes On

2007-04-25T23:36:00.000-07:00

The blog is like a shark, if it’s not moving it’s bound to die. As I remembered these words of Roy Blumenthal, I thought about the fact that I had not blogged in almost 5 days. Initially I was unable to identify why this was happening, could it be the pressure of combining lectures with the world of work programme? It couldn’t have been, because I knew I had adjusted perfectly to the long hours (8.00 am to 7.30 pm). I was worried until we had the training on stress management with Shameen Naidu from the CCDU. She talked to us about stress management and how we all have different ways of reacting to stress situations.

The fact is that I had been having this running misunderstanding with my girlfriend and the thought of having to break up with her was something I had been shying away from. Love was not the problem, rather there were certain realities I had to face, which I definitely can’t talk about here. Shameen and Berenice had both talked about being assertive; rather than pretending. Things came to a hilt yesterday morning when I braced myself and was assertive about the situation. After expressing myself, I braced myself for the worst that could happen. The worst did not happen, but we broke up with an understanding that we would still be friends. Was I stressed? Of course I was, 75 on the scale. By the way Wanjiku thanks for being concerned.

I would miss her and I have been asking myself how I intend to manage this stress. Should I do some relaxation and visualization exercises or do I go jogging and do some positive thinking afterwards. Nope. I think I would go for the Bulgarian Stallion stress management technique…….. Some cold bottles of BEER. Life goes on. Cheers

The Dance of Conflict

2007-04-22T23:45:00.000-07:00

I just got into an argument with my flatmate over who is the best Nigerian DJ, Wagzy or Jimmy Jatt. He is fresh from Nigeria, so he thought Jimmy was the best and Wagzy; who is South African based, was a rookie compared to him. We dissented for some minutes before we abandoned the bout. This is an example of the inevitability of conflict; as this happens to be my closest flatmate. Wherever you have more than one person living or working together, there would be conflict. Withdrawal or denial of a conflict does not negate the existence of the conflict.

The earliest example of conflict can be found in the home, either among siblings or between children and their parents. How these conflicts were handled and resolved goes a long way to shape how we eventually do the same as adults. There would always be conflict even in the corporate world as people with different personalities, ideas and beliefs try to work together to achieve a common objective. When these conflicts are not properly managed, the productivity of the organisation would adversely be affected. On the other hand, a certain amount of conflict is needed to bring about an optimal level of productivity because a conflictless organisation is probably one in which people are not freely expressing their ideas and opinions.

Individuals in organisation need to handle conflicts with maturity and have a positive attitude towards resolution, avoiding unprofessional behaviours that could damage working relationship. There should be no name calling or physical abuse. The organisation too should have a policy for conflict management. The best way to handle a conflict would be one in which both parties have a perception of having won. The CAN model of conflict management, discussed by Berenice de La Croix, is a good example of a conflict management approach.

One thing I took away from the training on conflict management was to be more democratic in the way I would handle conflicts with my kids (when I have them). I would let them know what standards are expected of them and why. We would then jointly come up with what can be considered a punishment for not doing the right thing. I would also be willing to accept my short comings and lovingly punish them when they go wrong. As for my flatmate, we are not yet talking, but I would talk to him over lunch. Cheers.

Value is a perception?

2007-04-17T00:16:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Andrew Hofmeyr talked to us about the world of work and how drastically it had changed from his time. He told us that every one was in business. All we need to ask ourselves is, what am I selling and who are my target customers. We then did an exercise to teach us about how we can generate business ideas.

As a follow up to that, I had a discussion with Abraham and Susan about some business ideas and how to market them. Then we had a slight argument over our differing views of what value meant to the customer. Susan felt that value was absolute and that a product either has it or it doesn’t. I agree with her to some extent, but I also believe that value is a perception that a customer has of the product. This value/or perception can be placed on the customer’s mind either because the product genuinely has the quality that is inherent in it or it could be a perception created by marketing.

For example I can either decide to buy a suit for R7, 000 because it has some very special features (non- creasing) or simply because it was made by Gucci. But who says that I cannot get the same suit for R1, 000 in a retail store. If I buy it for the first reason, then it would be because of its inherent quality (true value), but if my decision was based on the latter, it would be because of the marketing positioning of the product.

When a product is in a saturated or matured market, and you are not the market leader, to compete, you would have to differentiate, segment and position. This means that you look at your product and try to identify its strengths, choose one that differentiates it from what is in the market and then market that strength. For example, let’s compare Woolworth and Pick and Pay. Woolworth has positioned itself as retail store that supplies quality product, while Pick and Pay has positioned itself as an affordable retail store. But do we as customers have the means to test and differentiate between the qualities of cooking oil that we buy at either store? If I put oil in two unmarked bowl, how would you know which is from which store?

So my conclusion is that marketing contributes so much to shaping our concept of value of a product. As more products flood the market, there is a tendency towards commoditization, and without clear differentiation, the customer goes for the cheapest. More power to the people.

Power to the women

2007-04-15T23:41:00.000-07:00

Have you heard about the town in china where woman would call all shot? The town is called Shuangqiao district. The slogan of the town, “A woman never makes a mistake. A man can never reject a woman’s request” will be carved into the city gate. Any man who disobeys would be punished accordingly, either by kneeling on an uneven wooden board or by washing dishes in restaurant.

Isn’t that amazing? Imagine Thabo Mbeki being asked by the deputy president Phumzile to kneel down. I know women have so many qualities that make them special. They multi task perfectly, make very good managers and so on, but I think dedicating a whole community to women is a new one. As a Christian it contradicts my belief that a woman should control a man, but I know that in a corporate environment that is unavoidable.

I have so much respect for women and there so many evidences to show that women cann be very good leaders. Go to Nigeria and ask about Dora Akunyili, Ngozi Okonjo- Nweala, Funmilayo Ransome – Kuti (of blessed memory), and you will see what I am talking about. But that part that women don’t make mistakes, I find very difficult to swallow. They are humans and you can ask Danisa Baloyi; the BEE queen. She wanted power, more power and much more power.

Let’s see if this experiment in human behavioural science would work. If does, maybe it would be the solution to the problem of crime and violence in south Africa. Perhaps it would help address the skills shortage problems and Xenophobia related problems. I definitely would recommend it as a solution to the problems of corruption and mismanagement in Nigeria. More power to the women!

my coloured experience

2007-04-15T23:33:00.000-07:00

Isn’t it funny how we think we know people without getting close to them? I have always seen South Africa as a country that lacks soccer talent. When you talk soccer, names like Cameroon, Tunisia, Ghana, Ivory Coast and of course Nigeria comes to mind. I was around Western and had time to while away, so decided to pull my car over at their soccer pitch. I was a bit scared because I had heard so many stories about coloured people being violent.

There I saw these wonderful and talented kids playing soccer. Their football sense amazed me. They also went by funny names, like general, shot gun, tiny, just to mention a few. The diligence with which these boys played further buttressed my believe that we all have aspirations for a better life, even though we have our challenges and people often misunderstand us.

With kids like these, the future of soccer is bright in South Africa. That of course is other things are in place. For example, the league should be made open to foreigners who want to come to South Africa to play soccer. This would allow them have a feel of different styles of soccer from outside SA. This really is the secret of leagues in Europe.

The lesson I have gained from this experience would be to be a bit more open to other people’s cultures and ways of life. I would try their food, their parties and of course their women…..kidding !!!

Is it really necessary to blog?

2007-04-12T23:36:00.000-07:00

The session on blogging was quite interesting. Learnt today that a blog is a networking tool, an online diary, and a public record. It is also a personal rubber stamp of my identity and a kind of secret club. My blog must be regular, take a stand, reflect my personality and should have a focus. It is a commitment which I must try as much as possible to carry out everyday.

After all that, I asked myself, do I really need this bloggy stuff? I did not after to search for too long before coming to the conclusion. Yes I need the blog. The logical question that follows then would be, why. The blog gives me an opportunity to take advantage of ICT in a good way. I say that because good has different meanings to different people. Some think pornography is good while I also know a lot of friends who are game freaks and that is also a way to use ICT. That is not to say though that being a game freak is a bad thing.

Blogging would also give me an avenue to develop my writing skills. I have always thought that I was a good writer, but you have to know the difference between writing a lab report/ technical report and writing to share your thought with others. Blogging also has the capacity to keep me focused. I know that after a while, there would be a clear writing pattern and focus in my writing, as my natural passions will flow.

The tendency to become more disciplined is also obvious as you require a lot of discipline to keep writing meaningful blogs. My personality will also be exposed to those reading my blog and to myself.

With all this benefits, I think blogging is the way to go

Whats all this hustles about blogging?

2007-04-12T08:09:00.000-07:00

I find it amazing that as a mechanical engineer, it took a world of work training programme to learn about blogging. The irony of the situation is the fact that the programme is organised by the school of humanities.

I would have thought that blogging; being a product of ICT would be known by all engineering students, but that is not the case. I intend to explore the opportunity to reach out to people via my blog space. It would afford me the chance of having a place where i can voice my opinions whether you like it or not. Its about me and not you. That sounds selfish...... thats why its my spot and not yours.

Just messing with y'aaaal.

Let radical novelty begin

2007-04-11T08:15:00.000-07:00

This marks the begining of adventure into the world of new knowledge; radical novelty. I hope to have increased in practical world knowledge and skills by the end of the world of work programme.

This would be fun

2007-04-11T08:00:00.000-07:00

Even though i have a technical background, this is an entirely different experience. I already have a feeling that i am going to enjoy having my own cyber space. Cheers